Re: I verbally and physically abuse my husband
welcome to the club smith. i have the same problem. ive never actually thrown anything at my H, though. just broke his dvds and scratched up his car.
I noticed that you mentioned what he is doing to you, first. Maybe you know this, but what he does never justifies what you are doing.
And it really has nothing to do with what he's doing to you. It has to do with how you view yourself in the situation.
The solution, for me, was not to go talk to my H, but to learn to see myself differently in the situation. And to be able to see his side of things. Seeing his side of things does not give me sympathy, or anything like that, it helps me be able to separate myself from what his thoughts are creating. I needed to learn what i needed to do for myself on a day to day basis so my emotions didnt get that out of control, and so i wasnt so emotionally enmeshed with my H. I went to counseling, read books, and my H and I do boundary books together.
"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie