Wife want space - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-13-2012, 02:45 PM
Lon's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,873
Re: Wife want space

Unbelievable, that is possible that this new evidence triggered her into a betrayed spouse frame of mind. However when a wayward is trying to justify it they will latch onto ANY thing from the past they can to fling back.

My ex, when explaining why our marriage was dead, brought up a time 5 years prior she caught me looking at porn (even though I went cold turkey for her and myself and also in the past couple years she herself came to really enjoy watching porn by herself, I found out) She brought up those few times I turned her down for sex, in the first year of marriage, and said that is why she came to turn me down so many times in the final three years of our marriage. etc.

if she is cheating it is all just bull.

Lon is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-13-2012, 02:53 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 17,203
Re: Wife want space

If she's cheating, she had to first develop the urge to and find a way to rationalize the act to herself. If the marriage died 5 years ago, she'd be taken off her ring 5 years ago and her other current behaviors would have been evidenced back then. Rather than focus on the specific excuses she provided, ask yourself what changed right before her behavior significantly changed. Women often act upon "feelings" and then look for ways to explain their feelings. These explanations may or may not be accurate. They should always be taken seriously, but take them for what they are. When I investigate a crime which involves someone departing wildly from their "norm", I focus on the events closely preceding the departure. There, you will usually find the truth. If there's another guy involved, I bet her behavior change dates coincide with the date they became mutually sexually interested. Everyone has to justify to themselves everything they do.
unbelievable is offline  
post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-13-2012, 03:26 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 10,699
Re: Wife want space

So the keylogger and the cell phone log came up empty, there are no strange charges on her credit cards and your W is always accountable.
No late nights at the office and no girls night out. The voice activated recorder you planted in her car came up clean and you haven't found a burner cell.

Is all this correct?
There are no red flags othen needing space?
the guy is offline  
post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-14-2012, 04:11 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4
Re: Wife want space

She has know said she has to many problems and cant handle me talking to her, she just wants peace and quiet. I told her i was not moving out as sepration was the wrong way to go about it, i have also checked her phone bills etc and nothing out of the ordinary. Then when i went to put the child to bed she was straight on the phone to her mate saying he's done this and that and all i want is peace
Posted via Mobile Device
lostwithlove is offline  
post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-14-2012, 04:22 PM
This is me's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,565
Re: Wife want space

Be careful. In most cases there is someone else that has her ear and her heart, but it is not always an affair. The emotional detachment is something very hard to fix, but can be done. Emotional detachments start from resentment and through the help of someone who rather than challenge them on their lost ways will encourage and confirm the foggy thinking.

A Mid Life Crisis can trigger much of this and can happen at nearly any age although more likely in the 40's.

Due dilligence is important without their knowledge of snooping.

It is fixable, but patience, knowledge and a ounce of hope are all required.

The book Divorce Busters helped me alot.
This is me is offline  
post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 06:08 AM
Forum Supporter
anchorwatch's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: on the Island
Posts: 3,554
Re: Wife want space

Good for you. Home is where you children are.
As expected, she had a fit, called her confidant, and whined about you having a say in your family's future.

I agree with 'This is me', that's good advice, for the next step. I read that book among others, and found it to be a great help.
Now starts the hard part, patience and perseverance.

Divorce Busting® - How to Save Your Marriage, Solve Marriage Problems, and Stop Divorce

Good Luck
anchorwatch is online now  
post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 12:44 PM
bandit.45's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 17,429
Re: Wife want space

Next time she shoots her mouth off about all the things you did to make her unhappy, shoot back and tell her she is 50% responsible fior the state of the marriage. Tell her to put her effort where her mouth is and go to counseling with you. If she is unwilling to work things out then go to counseling yourself and let her know that you are going to try to fight for the marriage.

At least if things do end between the two of you, you can say you tried everything you could and that she was the one who threw the marriage away.
bandit.45 is offline  
post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 12:45 PM
bandit.45's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 17,429
Re: Wife want space

Originally Posted by lostwithlove View Post
The house is on her name and she doesnt want to go to counselling
Posted via Mobile Device
What are the community property laws where you live? Did she aquire the house before you got married?
bandit.45 is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wife needs space please help rkyfat General Relationship Discussion 71 03-28-2013 08:13 AM
What Should I Do - Wife Wants Space PurpleandGold Considering Divorce or Separation 16 02-11-2013 01:40 PM
Wife needs space Stevethe pirate Considering Divorce or Separation 7 02-17-2012 05:15 PM
Wife and space Wantherhome Considering Divorce or Separation 11 04-26-2011 09:53 AM
Wife wants space..Be alone... Theo General Relationship Discussion 21 08-30-2010 02:47 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome