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Old 05-13-2012, 02:45 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife want space

Unbelievable, that is possible that this new evidence triggered her into a betrayed spouse frame of mind. However when a wayward is trying to justify it they will latch onto ANY thing from the past they can to fling back.

My ex, when explaining why our marriage was dead, brought up a time 5 years prior she caught me looking at porn (even though I went cold turkey for her and myself and also in the past couple years she herself came to really enjoy watching porn by herself, I found out) She brought up those few times I turned her down for sex, in the first year of marriage, and said that is why she came to turn me down so many times in the final three years of our marriage. etc.

if she is cheating it is all just bull.
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Old 05-13-2012, 02:53 PM   #17 (permalink)
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If she's cheating, she had to first develop the urge to and find a way to rationalize the act to herself. If the marriage died 5 years ago, she'd be taken off her ring 5 years ago and her other current behaviors would have been evidenced back then. Rather than focus on the specific excuses she provided, ask yourself what changed right before her behavior significantly changed. Women often act upon "feelings" and then look for ways to explain their feelings. These explanations may or may not be accurate. They should always be taken seriously, but take them for what they are. When I investigate a crime which involves someone departing wildly from their "norm", I focus on the events closely preceding the departure. There, you will usually find the truth. If there's another guy involved, I bet her behavior change dates coincide with the date they became mutually sexually interested. Everyone has to justify to themselves everything they do.
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Old 05-13-2012, 03:26 PM   #18 (permalink)
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So the keylogger and the cell phone log came up empty, there are no strange charges on her credit cards and your W is always accountable.
No late nights at the office and no girls night out. The voice activated recorder you planted in her car came up clean and you haven't found a burner cell.

Is all this correct?
There are no red flags othen needing space?
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:11 PM   #19 (permalink)
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She has know said she has to many problems and cant handle me talking to her, she just wants peace and quiet. I told her i was not moving out as sepration was the wrong way to go about it, i have also checked her phone bills etc and nothing out of the ordinary. Then when i went to put the child to bed she was straight on the phone to her mate saying he's done this and that and all i want is peace
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:22 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Be careful. In most cases there is someone else that has her ear and her heart, but it is not always an affair. The emotional detachment is something very hard to fix, but can be done. Emotional detachments start from resentment and through the help of someone who rather than challenge them on their lost ways will encourage and confirm the foggy thinking.

A Mid Life Crisis can trigger much of this and can happen at nearly any age although more likely in the 40's.

Due dilligence is important without their knowledge of snooping.

It is fixable, but patience, knowledge and a ounce of hope are all required.

The book Divorce Busters helped me alot.
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Old 05-15-2012, 06:08 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife want space

Good for you. Home is where you children are.
As expected, she had a fit, called her confidant, and whined about you having a say in your family's future.

I agree with 'This is me', that's good advice, for the next step. I read that book among others, and found it to be a great help.
Now starts the hard part, patience and perseverance.

Divorce Busting® - How to Save Your Marriage, Solve Marriage Problems, and Stop Divorce

Good Luck
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:44 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Next time she shoots her mouth off about all the things you did to make her unhappy, shoot back and tell her she is 50% responsible fior the state of the marriage. Tell her to put her effort where her mouth is and go to counseling with you. If she is unwilling to work things out then go to counseling yourself and let her know that you are going to try to fight for the marriage.

At least if things do end between the two of you, you can say you tried everything you could and that she was the one who threw the marriage away.
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:45 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lostwithlove View Post
The house is on her name and she doesnt want to go to counselling
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What are the community property laws where you live? Did she aquire the house before you got married?
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