General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
since me and my husband have been married he has always had a lot of friends that are girls. he always jokes about how they are bad and need spanked along with other stuff to them when i am or am not around. this never bugged me that much because i was also kindof friends with them and trusted them as well as i have always trusted him but all at one i find myself very jealous and insecure about him being around and talking to other girls. there is this one girl in which i don't trust her at all , i don't know why , i just dont like her plus she is married to and the moment her husband left out of state she started texting mine and being around more, i have asked them to stop talking a few times and than today i find out that they cuddled on my our bed a week ago this is even after the fact that i have already asked them to stop and that happened. i just don't know what to do i wish they would stop talking, he says he loves me and only me. but he doesnt see anything wrong in what has happened, he things that he is an alpha male and that chicks should just be around and want him all the time or something.
Are you saying that he brought another woman into your home and laid with her on YOUR bed...and he told you it wasn't a big deal???????
Uhh no.
Girl, you need to send a clear message to that woman and her husband that under no certain terms is it okay for her to come into your home and lay down anywhere near your husband. Than you need to lay the rules down for your hubby and give him a good kick in the @ss!!
he things that he is an alpha male and that chicks should just be around and want him all the time or something.
To me this says.... "I'm vain, selfish, and think of women as nothing more then mares and fillies and men as stallions who go about conquering them all."
What kind of "friend" has the ballz to get on another woman's bed with that woman's husband and cuddle? And your husband thinks you should be ok with this? Unreal. Perhaps it's tirme for an azz kicking...or two.
NO, NO, NO, NO! His "cuddling" on YOUR bed is completely unacceptable, no ifs, ands or buts about it. I wasn't there, but there is probably a good bet that more went on than "cuddling". Beyond that, this is cheating and he is disrespecting you and your marriage.
There is no "asking" him to stop, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to cut contact with this woman and set some appropriate boundaries. I'm sure that he would be more than upset if he knew that you were being overly friendly with male friends of yours.
I am a dude and my Best Friend is female and never in life would any of that happen. Unbelievably disrespectful to you. ( My HFG would stick a hot fork right in my eye if there was even a hint of this type of shenanigans, and I would deserve it) That is not "friend" behavior. Regardless of what he thinks the "chicks" want, he controls his own actions. No excuse....... cut him loose
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What you do speaks so loud, I can not hear what you say ...
he always jokes about how they are bad and need spanked along with other stuff to them when i am or am not around. this never bugged me that much because i was also kindof friends with them and trusted them as well as i have always trusted him
OP, Why did it never bug you that your husband talked about spanking other women? And how could you trust and be friends with these women who (probably) don't mind being spanked by your husband.
How many women are we talking about here? Where does your husband come across all these women? Do he go to the bar or are these his long time friends/colleagues? Does he spend time with them in your absence? I don't get the picture yet.
Quote:
there is this one girl in which i don't trust her at all , i don't know why , i just dont like her plus she is married to and the moment her husband left out of state she started texting mine and being around more.
Is this woman a new addition to the group of other women your husband is friends with?
Quote:
i have asked them to stop talking a few times and than today i find out that they cuddled on my our bed a week ago
How did you find out? How come you are sure if was just cuddling and nothing more?
Quote:
but he doesnt see anything wrong in what has happened, he things that he is an alpha male and that chicks should just be around and want him all the time or something.
This is a weird and crazy thinking! Alpha male indeed!! Why did he marry you in the first place if he wanted to be surrounded by chicks! Does he think sleeping with couple of chicks is okay as well?? Looks like spanking and cuddling is just fine in his books. If you want to keep your husband, you need to be an ALPHA FEMALE, drive away all of these chicks and make it clear to your husband that this non sense will not be tolerated if he wants to stay married. I don't know what else to say
Im just not sure what to do i have tried to lay down the terms, everything was different when we first got married, ie the honeymoon stage- im not sure how became friends with these woman just girls that were friends with his other guy friends i guess... Yes this girl is a new one she use to come over with her husband but he left the state a month or so ago and since the day he left she started texting mine and when it started to bug me i told them to stop a few weeks ago and than this happened last week i guess i found out she was in my room since i found papers with her name on it by my bed.
What you do is tell your husband that his idiotic, immature, disrespectful behavior stops NOW...ALL of it...or you are gone.
Cuddling with another woman on your bed just blows my mind.
I realize telling you to walk is easier said than done, but do you really want to be married to a man who disrespects you in so many ways?
And, in keeping with my previous post... Dontknowwhat, you tell your husband "stop this stupid **** or get out." (Actually, I would say gtfo, but you know what I mean.) He is disrespecting you... and by allowing him to do so, YOU ARE TELLING HIM IT IS OK! If he won't respect you, your marriage, then kick him to the curb!
OP, Why did it never bug you that your husband talked about spanking other women? And how could you trust and be friends with these women who (probably) don't mind being spanked by your husband.
it just seemed like a joke, i knew that i was better than them and i trusted him 100% , plus they all seemed very turned of by him and never went along with it
How many women are we talking about here? Where does your husband come across all these women? Do he go to the bar or are these his long time friends/colleagues? Does he spend time with them in your absence? I don't get the picture yet.
theres a hand full , friends of his guy friends, yes they come over either when im here or at work , i work grave yard
Is this woman a new addition to the group of other women your husband is friends with? yes she has been coming for about a month use to come with her husband he left state about a month ago she started texting the day her husband left
How did you find out? How come you are sure if was just cuddling and nothing more?
papers with her name on it on the side of the bed i asked about them he said they were watching tv in there and then i got the cuddling news out of him
This is a weird and crazy thinking! Alpha male indeed!! Why did he marry you in the first place if he wanted to be surrounded by chicks! Does he think sleeping with couple of chicks is okay as well?? Looks like spanking and cuddling is just fine in his books. If you want to keep your husband, you need to be an ALPHA FEMALE, drive away all of these chicks and make it clear to your husband that this non sense will not be tolerated if he wants to stay married. I don't know what else to say
everything was different 5 years ago when we got married , if i drive them away he will go also. thats when i dont know what to do ,
i am also very overwhelmed and insecure, jealous at this and for weeks now, i feel like its me and its all in my head or something. i feel like i cant get past any of this. i just feel trapped in a shell
i also have no real friends to hang out with or talk to , these females are not my friends and never will be,
29Likes
other girls? 
Re: other girls? 
Then i saw that he cuddled in your bed with another woman.
