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Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamaga
I disagree about the outing. It reeks of junior high school vengeance. People will do what people will do. Don't be messing in other folks' lives.
You don't think other people involved here have a right to know they've been exposed to an STD?!?!?!
You NEED to let them know somehow. Even if all you do is put an anonymous note in their mailbox that says "[your wife's name] has herpes. Ask her about it.
And if you can avoid talking to her, so much the better. Keep it just between you and the kids. But DO NOT use them as go-betweens, and do not let her do so either.
As far as telling her you know, why not? She betrayed you in the worst possible way. Why should she think she got away with it? Like the Carrie Underwood song says "Maybe next time (s)he'll think before (s)he cheats"
Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PainBelow
My idea was simply to tell her that I know and leave it to her imagination as to how I found out. Let her make a dozen phone calls trying to figure out who blabbed.
Great idea. Do not tell her exactly what you know, how you know, or how long you have know. Be calm and do not act hurt. Just say that you are disappointed that she did not eventually tell you the truth on her own.
If she tries to deny it, just tell her that you know the truth and her denying it changes nothing, but does disappoint you because you had hoped one day that she would have remorse and come clean, for her own karma not yours. Then smile and change the topic or walk away but do not be emotional or mad.
Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
All you need to ask yourself is would you have liked to have known your wife was cheating? If one of her OM was caught, would you have wanted their spouse to tell you that your wife was cheating on you. Especially if that spouse was aware that her husband had herpes and could of affected your wife and you.
Most everyone would want to know this information. You have an obligation to tell these innocent people what you know.
Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
I would tell her you know, but no details on what you know or how you learned it. That way she will know she is busted but she will forever wonder how much you know and how you discovered it.
Ditto on the comments about OMs' wife or gf having a right to know he is cheating and the possibility of an STD.
Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
I agree with Try, SadSam, Thor and others who feel that it would be good for you to get a closure on this by confronting her, and as Try elaborates, it can be done without drama. Also, it would be morally good to notify OM's wife/gfs
Here's an idea how you could do all of this....
1. Draft and Print an anonymous letter about her cheating etc. Make couple of copies
2. Send them to the gf/wife of OM(s)
3. Now, Send one copy to yourself as well
4. When you meet the ex show her the letter as-if someone sent you the letter to expose her
5. At this point if she denies etc... do what Try mentioned (no drama, change topic etc)
This way, (1) you don't need to tell her that you looked at her emails, (2) you can confront her and get a closure, and lastly, (3) you also do a good service by notifying OM's wife/gfs.
And Iamaga, there is nothing "junior high" about telling someone they've been exposed to an STD. What's junior high is to ignore a serious health issue and hope that by some miracle they get treated. Chlamydia has no symptoms and renders women sterile. HPV can cause cancer, and if you have the cancer-causing strain you must be more closely monitored than the average woman. We don't even need to go into the realm of HIV. Herpes is manageable, but not entirely curable. This is how these diseases spread, because someone was too "junior high" to tell the truth.
Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaggy
They are also against cheating, didn't seem to influence your ex much did it?
Do what another poster did here in the last couple of days, actually call the cops and try to report that you ex has been reading your emails. Beprepated to get blown off as a waste of time. Posted via Mobile Device
Adultery is still illegal in many states, yet it doesn't get prosecuted much, if at all.
There are many laws and criminal statutes that are on the books in many states/countries that are never prosecuted. Those who want to report such matters don't know the criminal justice system.
They're not going to waste valuable court time on something so trivial when they have things like fraud, assaults, robberies, burglaries, stabbings, shootings, etc, etc, etc to prosecute. Sure, anyone can file a report, it doesn't mean it's going anywhere. I think there was a single case somewhere by an overzealous prosecutor trying to make a name for herself and it still hasnt gone anywhere.
Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them.
My idea was simply to tell her that I know and leave it to her imagination as to how I found out. Let her make a dozen phone calls trying to figure out who blabbed.
When you expose her to all parties, be prepared to find out that at least a few of her friends already know but have also been told that you ate the one that cheated, that she only did because you did.
That's one of the lines of bull I've dealt with.
Cheating wives remove all goodness from their being but ramp up the good girl act to all concerned.
Tell everyone who has potentially been exposed to diseases.
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Re: Just learned that ex wife of 10 years was cheating for 3 of them. 
