Wife Does Not Feel Appreciated
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Old 03-22-2009, 07:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife Does Not Feel Appreciated

I am having some issues with my wife not feeling appreciated. She says I don't spend enough time with her and when I get home all I want to do is just plop down and relax really. She wants the lovey dovey type of attention.

I don't normally mind but I come home from work so tired and stressed that honestly I just want to unload all my stress and just zone out and let go of my day.

I am in the Army and due to my specific job I work 13.5 hour days from 5am to 6:30pm. I am up around 4am so I can get to post in time for PT and then I shower there and eat on post because I dont have time to come home due to work starting early. I have super limited access to outside communication lines at work as well so calling home never happens. And we are living in Europe for the next 2.5 years.

I really want to spend time with her but by the time I get home I just want to go to bed. I love spending time with her, but she doesn't feel that it is the right kind of "quality" time with each other. We try to go out and explore on weekends, but it is so pricey to go out on the economy with the Euro and gas prices so sometimes it is limited.

I am just wondering if I should just man up and for those 3 hours I am awake at home do what she wants. Or should we have some sort of discussion. We have only been married a year and a half.

Sorry if I do not make much sense, I am just frustrated trying to work things out and work is stressful enough as it is without other issues piled on.
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Old 03-22-2009, 07:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Does Not Feel Appreciated

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Originally Posted by army_guy View Post
I am just wondering if I should just man up and for those 3 hours I am awake at home do what she wants. Or should we have some sort of discussion. We have only been married a year and a half.
I think you're right. If you did it every other day it would be a help. This is a case where good intentions simply will not replace action.
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Old 03-22-2009, 10:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Does Not Feel Appreciated

You could kill two birds with one tired stone (pun intended). Take her to bed with you. Cuddle up. Forcing yourself to be awake could build resentment?
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Does Not Feel Appreciated

I get a lot of what I need from my husband in bed, watching tv and him just holding my hand. You can also rub her head or arm lightly...Not to much work and I love it!!! Anything is better than nothing!! Oh, and make sure to kiss her when u get home from work...That says a lot!
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Does Not Feel Appreciated

I dont know what your wife does, but i think part of it is that she may need to get a life of her own. What does she do all day?

when i moved with my H i was very clingy. He worked long hours and i had nothing else do to but wait for him to come home. He was neglecting me, but it would have helped if i had of done something else besides pressure him all the time.

It might be a good idea to help her find something besides you that she loves to do.
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