eowyn

I guess we will all attempt to comment on this situation as to what our own experiences have been in life, what kind of people, what kind of 15-year olds we came across so far. I would ask for more details before commenting either ways. (1) Some more details about the incidence from both sides to make sure it is all true (2) husband's reaction (3) what kind of legal consequences might he face, (4) any existing conflicts b/w husband and her family, husband and her sister (5) any existing jealousy issues between OP and her sister?

When something like this happens it is very important in my opinion to first validate that what is being said is all true, that there are no false accusations etc.

Assuming what is being said is true, I think only OP would be in a position to judge the situation entirely. I would just advice that OP finds out all facts with a non-biased mind and evaluates them as rationally as she can in her position, which I am sure not a comfortable one right now.

Assuming this is all true the H would certainly be at fault and it would sound like it was indeed premeditated. Definitely not something that can be forgiven. As for the sister's behavior that is gray area for me. To a bystander such as me, I would think it is all husband's fault. However I haven't come across any 15-year olds who drink beer in the first place. So my opinion is biased out of my own perception. Only OP can decide about what she thinks about her sister's role in this.

As for the general discussion on 15-year olds .. In my opinion there is a big difference between a 5-year old and a 15-year old. A 15-year old certainly can understand what is right and what is wrong irrespective of the hormones.

southern wife

No update from sas?

__________________
~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.

Trojan John

I dated a girl at 15 who was (unbeknownst to me) also dating a married man with three children. She knew what she was doing and was essentially milking him for money. When he stopped paying she went to the police and he ended up being jailed for five years for sex with a minor. It was fairly big news at the time. She was playing all sorts of games and it ended up catching up with her as she has changed her name and reinvented herself (as much as that is worth). He is estranged from his wife and kids and has the lifetime stigma of being a sex offender. She is celebrated for having come through this ordeal a stronger person.
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In_The_Wind

Wowza a real player what a gamey chick and the married guy got what he deserved

Catherine602

John did he know she was 15 or did she lie? If he knew then he deserved what he got. It he is stupid enough to break the law and play into the pathology of a teen then he has to pay.

Unfortunately, his wife and kids had to pay too. He did not protect them.

He deserves to be despised for a selfish, deceptive, criminal bottom feeding idiot.

Why waste any sorrow for him? He gave up his family to chase orgasms! Of all things - something as trivial as sexual pleasure made him throw away the family jewels.

__________________
"Hey some guys need a book to find the G-spot. It was intuitive for me. Some take the road less travelled." Enthropy 3000

JuliaP

Well, you recreated the same situation unconsciously so that you could repair childhood damage. You were attracted to your H because he had the bad ( and probably some good) traits that your dad had. He also chose you for reasons as well. You built up the scenario again, but now you are the one with the 'creep' and you have the chance to repair YOUR wounds. You get to be the strong mother who does the right thing.

Remove this man from your world-He can not be trusted, and YOU DESERVE a good man you can trust. He is a piece of ****. You need the stability of a strong, proud, loving man. Go to counseling (with a sane counselor!) to figure out how to cope with what happened to you and how to create the future you deserve.

Your sister was 15- we were all easy to manipulate at 15. And if she is your dads daughter- give her a break, she has issues as well. I'd bet this was not the first time she had been sexually molested in some way.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry this happened.

turnera

Great post, Julia.