Atom Bomb was dropped on my life

eowyn · 05-23-2012, 10:21 AM

I guess we will all attempt to comment on this situation as to what our own experiences have been in life, what kind of people, what kind of 15-year olds we came across so far. I would ask for more details before commenting either ways. (1) Some more details about the incidence from both sides to make sure it is all true (2) husband's reaction (3) what kind of legal consequences might he face, (4) any existing conflicts b/w husband and her family, husband and her sister (5) any existing jealousy issues between OP and her sister?

When something like this happens it is very important in my opinion to first validate that what is being said is all true, that there are no false accusations etc.

Assuming what is being said is true, I think only OP would be in a position to judge the situation entirely. I would just advice that OP finds out all facts with a non-biased mind and evaluates them as rationally as she can in her position, which I am sure not a comfortable one right now.

Assuming this is all true the H would certainly be at fault and it would sound like it was indeed premeditated. Definitely not something that can be forgiven. As for the sister's behavior that is gray area for me. To a bystander such as me, I would think it is all husband's fault. However I haven't come across any 15-year olds who drink beer in the first place. So my opinion is biased out of my own perception. Only OP can decide about what she thinks about her sister's role in this.

As for the general discussion on 15-year olds .. In my opinion there is a big difference between a 5-year old and a 15-year old. A 15-year old certainly can understand what is right and what is wrong irrespective of the hormones.

southern wife · 05-23-2012, 10:25 AM

No update from sas?

Trojan John · 05-23-2012, 12:47 PM

I dated a girl at 15 who was (unbeknownst to me) also dating a married man with three children. She knew what she was doing and was essentially milking him for money. When he stopped paying she went to the police and he ended up being jailed for five years for sex with a minor. It was fairly big news at the time. She was playing all sorts of games and it ended up catching up with her as she has changed her name and reinvented herself (as much as that is worth). He is estranged from his wife and kids and has the lifetime stigma of being a sex offender. She is celebrated for having come through this ordeal a stronger person.
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In_The_Wind · 05-23-2012, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trojan John

I dated a girl at 15 who was (unbeknownst to me) also dating a married man with three children. She knew what she was doing and was essentially milking him for money. When he stopped paying she went to the police and he ended up being jailed for five years for sex with a minor. It was fairly big news at the time. She was playing all sorts of games and it ended up catching up with her as she has changed her name and reinvented herself (as much as that is worth). He is estranged from his wife and kids and has the lifetime stigma of being a sex offender. She is celebrated for having come through this ordeal a stronger person.
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Wowza a real player what a gamey chick and the married guy got what he deserved

Catherine602 · 05-23-2012, 05:53 PM

John did he know she was 15 or did she lie? If he knew then he deserved what he got. It he is stupid enough to break the law and play into the pathology of a teen then he has to pay.

Unfortunately, his wife and kids had to pay too. He did not protect them.

He deserves to be despised for a selfish, deceptive, criminal bottom feeding idiot.

Why waste any sorrow for him? He gave up his family to chase orgasms! Of all things - something as trivial as sexual pleasure made him throw away the family jewels.

JuliaP · 05-25-2012, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sas1643

....I was sexually abused by my father at the age of 5 and taken from my family and put in foster care for almost a year.......Part of me thinks that if I stay with my husband I am no better than she is....

Even though I know that she is the 15 year old victim in this....I am angry because I know that she had ownership in this and from what I have been told with her actions she betrayed me as well.

Well, you recreated the same situation unconsciously so that you could repair childhood damage. You were attracted to your H because he had the bad ( and probably some good) traits that your dad had. He also chose you for reasons as well. You built up the scenario again, but now you are the one with the 'creep' and you have the chance to repair YOUR wounds. You get to be the strong mother who does the right thing.

Remove this man from your world-He can not be trusted, and YOU DESERVE a good man you can trust. He is a piece of ****. You need the stability of a strong, proud, loving man. Go to counseling (with a sane counselor!) to figure out how to cope with what happened to you and how to create the future you deserve.

Your sister was 15- we were all easy to manipulate at 15. And if she is your dads daughter- give her a break, she has issues as well. I'd bet this was not the first time she had been sexually molested in some way.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry this happened.

turnera · 05-26-2012, 07:29 AM

Great post, Julia.