05-23-2012, 07:37 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
| | Trust Issues.....Dont know what to do
This July, my husband and I will be married for 6 years. We are a young couple, I 25, he 26. We got started early. Over the last 6 years we have gone through so many things together. I feel they have brought us closer but at the same time, I feel they are effecting how we think about things.
So to my point about this whole thing. First, my first love cheated on me. Anyone who has been cheated on knows how it effects your future relationships. I know it can happen so its like I think it will happen again. Second, during the first 5 years of our marriage, anytime we got into and argument the first thing my husband would say is he is leaving or I need to leave. He never did leave longer then just a ride down the road for a bit. I did however for 3 days after our son died. But he helped me realize we will be ok and can work through it together. Third, I always have this feeling in the back of my mind that one day we will not be together. I finally stopped thinking that way about 6 months ago. Lastly, About a month and a half ago, we met my husbands cousins girlfriend. We learned about their difficulty being able to see each other and offered for them to stay with us. They ended up breaking up and his cousin left. His girlfriend is staying with us. She has become my new best friend. Well ever since the two have broken up, although she has another boyfriend in the army (which means he is not here), I keep having problems feeling like my husband will leave me for her. I have talked to both of them about how I feel and they both have told me that would never happen that they look at each other as siblings. My husband has NEVER done anything to make me feel he would cheat. After talking to both of them I truly feel everything will be ok. Well yesterday, I started thinking about how starting in August when we all start school again how there will be times when they are alone. (I will be in class, they wont) So I started that feeling all over again. (I know I am all over the place, Im sorry. This is how it is in my head.) I started thinking about instead of thinking about how heart broken I would be if something did happen between us, change my thought to how I will be ok and I would get through it. Then I woke up this morning feeling like all this may be a test from God. To see if I really trust my husband. I hope it is a test, I would be failing right now, and this would never happen. As hard as I can think that I would be ok in the end if anything did happen, I really love my husband and dont want to loose him. I cry just thinking about the slightest possibility.
Am I over thinking this? Is this a test? Should I be worried? Should I just calm down? I know no one can really answer these questions but me and God.
Thanks for listening.