Sunshine72

So hubby has been gone for about a month. He's working out of state. We haven't been on good terms for a while and haven't talked much since he left. Today during a business stuff type text exchange I randomly threw out that I loved him and appreciated the sacrifices he is making for our family. He sent back a smiley face and we chatted off and on all day. That hasn't happened for a long long time.

He was down and depressed for quite a while prior to getting this job and we almost split up prior to his leaving. He is a very proud man and his pride has taken a beating. He's not much ofa talker regarding feelings and deep issues. Any ideas of other things I can just throw out there when we text to help him feel appreciated and boost his ego a little bit. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to hard or faking it if that makes sense....

Thanks!
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DanF

Just give him lots of support, encouragement, and thanks for his hard work.

I work overseas and my wife always thanks me for doing what I do for the family.

Sunshine72

Since men and women think and communicate differently, are their specific things she says that boost ur pride? His pride and ego have really taken a beating over the last few years. He's a little old fashioned I guess in regards to his feeling like he's taking care of me. He hasn't in a while but finally started working on it. I know being away from home is hard. He's a man of few words really, and I'd like to help bring his confidence back without being all girly and gushy about it.
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SunnyT

Simple, random texts work.... I think....

We say "TOY" (thinking of you) randomly.

Or "I heard that song __________ and it reminded me of you."

Send photos.... of things around the house that you know will make him smile. The dog. You in his t-shirt. His favorite toys. Etc...

Write actual letters too... my h and I had a long distance relationship when we met. We wrote letters and emails. Sometimes just rambling stuff, silly stuff, homey stuff....

The guys deployed with my son in Afghanistan said they loved getting letters from home about regular, everyday stuff... what you've been working on, who mowed the grass, that funny neighbor that amuses you, etc...

KathyBatesel

Don't say what you don't mean, but simple expressions can go a long way.

"I appreciate you" is one I tell my husband as often as I can, for instance. In your case, I imagine you're doing some things around the house that he used to do. You can tell him that you appreciate the way he always did those things for you.

You can tell him you miss him, and when you do, offer a tidbit about something you miss - seeing that "lost in thought" look or his warm body beside you at night - but again, make it real.

If you are sincere and use actual examples, you won't come off as gushy.

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