lovelygirl

wow! Her conversation screams "leave me alone".
She's not showing interest.

To answer to your username, yes. You are being naive.

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Shaggy: Men of integrity don't have affairs. They don't have affairs not because there aren't other wonderful women out there besides their wives, they don't have affairs because as men of integrity they choose not to.

Aminaive?

We've met 5 times.

Aminaive?

She is also 35 and he is 22.

I'm sure this seems really immature and stupid to you and many others. I'm sure I'm behaving irrationally. But it still hurts and I could use a little compassion.

Aminaive?

You mean leave me alone for now or permanently?

lovelygirl

Leave me alone for now. I don't feel like talking to you. I need to sort out my feelings and I'm unsure how I feel about you.
The other guy is slowly becoming very important to me so I don't really care about giving you much attention.

This could become permanently...

I'm 35 but I feel like 15 again and I like it.


That's what it means.

__________________
Shaggy: Men of integrity don't have affairs. They don't have affairs not because there aren't other wonderful women out there besides their wives, they don't have affairs because as men of integrity they choose not to.

COguy

Dude...

Stop smothering her, she's not into you.

3 months into your relationship she's into another dude and giving you the "lay off me" signals, the relationship is dead. Also, 3 months is really early to be having the love talks with someone you've met 5 times.

Just suck it up and admit to yourself this girl is gone. You don't want to involve yourself with her, she's bad news. Figure out how to stop being so clingy and needy so you don't get into another disaster relationship.

eowyn

It will hurt more if you don't understand these signals and continue with the wishful thinking. In your position it is understandable that you will continue to give her benefit of the doubt so that you postpone your heart from breaking. However that will only make it worse. Listen to the people on these forums and move on. John or no John, she is certainly not into you any more.

Posse

Because she is trying to avoid having to tell you since it will be an unpleasant situation. She is hoping to avoid telling you, and waiting for you to get the hint by her refusal to interact with you.

Avoidant behavior.

intrigid

You idiot. At this point, it doesn't even MATTER if she has a thing going on with him. The reason it doesn't matter is that she DOESN'T have an attraction to you. It's so bleedingly obvious what's going on. She thinks you're "nice" and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but she definitely does NOT love you. That's why she's so irritated by your questions.

And to be honest, I think you need to step it up a bit in the "being a man" department. It's hard to imagine how any woman can be attracted to someone who's as clingy and dependent as you're acting. If she's not fulfilling your needs then you need to learn to get your needs fulfilled by some other girls.

intrigid

And one more thing that I think needs to be said... and I don't know how to say this without it sounding mean but it is NOT meant to be mean. One of your main problems is that you're showing maturity well short of your years. It's rare that I find a 20-year-old man that's as emotionally immature as what you've demonstrated in your story. There's a very good chance that it was precisely this immaturity that killed any attraction that she might have once had for you.

You will never be happy until you teach yourself to stop emotionally investing yourself in any one woman. Try to go to the bar and get laid a few times. Stop putting women on pedestals. Develop a bit more of an emotional callus. Believe me, this advice is NOT coming from an alpha male. I'm still working on all these things myself.

Shaggy

She has dumped you but she hasn't got the guts to actually talk to you about it. She may be hooking up with him this weekend, but even if she wasn't she is passively dumping you. Yes, it looks like she is with someone this weekend.

I'd recommend you have the guts and tell her you are ending it. It's clear the relationship isn't working out, and it isn't a priority to her either,mso you are ending it snd moving on.

Besides, to you OP, you really really can do better than someone in their mid 30s who plays that much online gaming. You shoud cut back yourself and try some meat space social activities.
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intrigid

WTF is wrong with a gamer chick? If anything, that's probably the main thing she has going for her.