ugh... strippers...

SimplyAmorous · 05-28-2012, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Coffee Amore said: However, the OP and her husband have huge issues (mostly from her husband..not the OP) regarding honesty, Craigs List hookers, porn, immaturity. They've been married for nearly two years but he has still not told his overseas, conservative family that he's married to her. He doesn't strike me as the sort who could go to a strip club once and be done with it. I fear he'd get hooked on it especially given how he's behaved so far. It's like taking a kid to a candy store.

I have not kept up on all of the replies here, but IF all this is going on.... HIDING , LYING, Craigs List (YIKES!!!) .....Yeah... the man surely does NOT need to add some strip clubs to the list!! Sounds like a boundaryless addiction to women going on! I would be a furious ranting wife handing him some ultimatums & ready to leave him to the curb.

He is lacking all respect , has no care for her feelings.

We had a little scuffle about our 2nd time going....I felt he wasn't paying me "enough" attention, considering I was sitting right behind him most of the night, I wanted a little more talk, a hand on my knee, a touch here, a touch there, letting me know we're enjoying this together...with a smile......his reponse...he thought we'd never go back & he was just "taking it all in". Fair enough.... So we talked it all out under our Gazebo the next day... his feelings, my feelings.....all of it out on the table.....he was very willing to never go back, he cared deeply how I felt and wouldn't want to ever do anything to hurt me.

But I knew he enjoyed it !

.....It was ME who insisted we go back.... and he agreed he'd show me a little more attention.. and he did -till the end. If I had any inkling these experiences could hurt US, It would have been severed right there...both of us agreeing together... as it should be.

The marraige comes 1st, and each others feelings need to be acknowledged, understood, and cared about -deeply...for peace & harmony to reign.

eowyn · 05-28-2012, 04:20 PM

I read some of OP's other posts in this context and I won't be surprised if OP's H is lying to her about not having visited any strip clubs so far. He has downloaded videos of naked ladies on his cell phone, emailed hookers with a secret account and seems to have a classic tendency of hiding/lying about things that can get controversial.

He hasn't even told his family and friends that he is married to OP for two years now! He introduces his wife as a roommate to his friends! He got engaged to another woman when he was in relationship with OP, and hid that from OP as well. I won't be surprised if there are other things OP is not be aware of.

As for the strip clubs my best guess is that he has already visited enough strip clubs, either alone or with friends, just that he hid that from OP ... and this was just a lame attempt to officially make a trip to the candy store.

uzername · 05-28-2012, 04:21 PM

I'd just like to say... there's nothing wrong with NOT being ok with strip clubs in general. why should this opinion make me prudish or uptight or insecure? is it totally inconceivable that i just have my own opinion about these places, without it having to do with me being worried about anything having to do me or my H?

OP, it sounds like your H was just giddy because he'd never experienced it before, and he acted like an ass because of it. Hopefully the rest of your vacation was more about you two.

TRy · 05-28-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by intrigid

The fact that you have such negativity towards it demonstrates insecurity on your part, and that never helps in a relationship.

I call bull. I just love how some people try to falsely play the insecurity card in these discussions. Next you will be calling her jealous and controlling.

Most people have moral values that are consistent with the OP on this topic. Rather than getting into a moral values debate, let us just make a deal on this. They should not try to act superior to others that do not share those moral values, and you should not try to act superior for not sharing those values.

FrenchFry · 05-28-2012, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by intrigid

Wow you're naive.

Women ARE sexual objects. So are men. Looking at them isn't a disrespect to them. Quite the opposite.

Mmm.

Women and men are sexual beings, not sexual objects.

Sexual objects are dildoes, vibrators, fleshlights. Objects designed for one thing and one thing only, sex. There is no disrespect in treating a vibrator like a vibrator because it was just designed for sexual pleasure.

Women and men are here for way more than sexual gratification. We are daughters, teachers, learners, sons, people with infinite potential. To reduce humans to just sexual objects diminshes all of us, what we are and what we can be. Our sexuality is a part of that, a great part that we should embrace but it isn't the end all to us.

People have issues with strip clubs because the patrons of strip clubs have the tendency to reduce the women to the usefulness of a vibrator when, even a stripper, is so much more than that. The concept absolutely shouldn't be spread to all of humanity.

FirstYearDown · 05-28-2012, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TRy

I call bull. I just love how some people try to falsely play the insecurity card in these discussions. Next you will be calling her jealous and controlling.

Most people have moral values that are consistent with the OP on this topic. Rather than getting into a moral values debate, let us just make a deal on this. They should not try to act superior to others that do not share those moral values, and you should not try to act superior for not sharing those values.

I like this deal.

Nothing insecure about wanting to feel like a spouse is focusing on you during an anniversary.

Kurosity · 05-28-2012, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cory275

my hubs and i are on our anniversary trip in new orleans. i've been here once before in college but i think i was wayyyy too wasted to realize how many effin strip clubs are on bourbon street.

i made the comment as we were walking, "damn.. there's a lot of strip clubs here"... and he literally commented 20 times about each joint. both on our side of the street and on the other side. "so that's a strip club?" "what if they dont have the posters... does that still mean its a strip club inside".. "let me go buy you a drink from that strip club"... my hubs is an immigrant and they dont really openly have such establishments in his country, but GEESUS. we've gone to vegas together and he wasnt this effing irritating.

anyway.. i obviously snapped eventually... he asked me a question about one of the clubs and all i said was "i dunno".. so he walked way ahead of me until i said "ok, this is dumb..its not fun anymore.. lets just go back to the room.. i dont wanna talk about strippers all night on our anniversary trip"

so night goes on.. today goes on.. and at dinner he said, "man, i thought you were going to take me to my frist strip club?"

yes.. there's some other things going on right now.. but the stripper obsession is ridiculous... right???

ps.. i'm not into the whole strip club thing (there's something about it that conflicts with my morals.. and getting stripper money at work makes me wanna PUKE... ugh the smell... ugh and the hair)... and my hubs said he wasnt into all that either when we first dated.. one of the things i really liked about him.

I would have just said that I would think about going with you to your first visit in a strip club but this occasion is not one you want to remember forever as being the anniversary that you took him into a strip club and ask him to switch gears and focus on the reason you are on this vacation.

I would like to add that I do not care why men of woman strip and what their education is and so on. It is a choice they made for themselves and if it is something they want to do then so be it. I know anyone can get a job at the local drive threw but it is not my job to judge them for flipping burgers or stripping their clothes off for others. It is their life regardless of what I think. It does not make them less human.

I believe in this saying; "Do not judge a bottle by anything other then its contents." A dusty wine bottle can hold a great drink and so can a clean prefect appearing one or the contents can be nasty in either. It goes the same with people. Contents are much more important then appearances and a job is just a bottle and tells one very little of its contents.
Think about it most serial killers looked like well rounded hard working people yet they tortured people, some barried their victims in the walls of their house. Yeah so respect the guy with and "honest moral job" because he could not be as harmful as a stripper. Strippers are bad