General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
If sex is of the utmost importance to you.. leave, divorce, ect... Cheating is a cowards way out. It's sneaky, selfish, destructive, and the ultimate form of betrayal you can impose upon your spouse. Clearly your finding every excuse/reason you can to paint an ugly picture of the marriage you have. Clearly you do NOT want to work things out. If you had.. you wouldn't be complaining about such little things in the counseling sessions. Just outright divorce the man so you both can find someone more compatible to each of you.
To make matters worse, i came across the “50 shades of grey” book. I’ve read it in like 1 weekend. The guy in the book is all I can think about now. I know he is not real, but he is exactly what I think I want. I’ve also tried to get my husband to try some of the things in the book.
What exactly do you find so appealing about Christian?
Personally I think the books are ridiculous & the relationship that Anastasia & Christian have is beyond dysfunctional.
I also think that the popularity of the book goes to show you that people have no idea what a healthy relationship is.
No one can "save" another person, certainly not just because the savior is a virgin willing to do anything sexually to please the savee.
Come back down to reality, you're not going to find your dream man because quite frankly they don't exist, at least not in the way you're thinking.
Focus on the relationship you have now or get out & seek another, just don't do that while still married.
Well, you are all absolutely right.
I don’t want counseling any more as I didn’t have good experience trying it. When we went to see the first creepy one, her office was at her house, and it was full of staff. I mean almost hoarding style. I am sorry, but I couldn’t go back there. The second one had a nice office. She asked me for some examples of how my husband doesn’t listen to me. I said that he drives aggressively. Perhaps, it was a wrong example, but it came to mind at the time. I’ve asked him not to drive like that numerous times, and he ignores me. The counsellor suggested to him to drive at the speed limit for a week and see what happens. He agreed. I knew right there and then that he was not going to drive the speed limit ever. I didn’t say anything, but wanted to see what happens. And of course, he did not. Driving the speed limit was not the point. At the back of my mind I know that I do need to divorce him, but I just can’t. We’ve been together for 15 years, and I am 35. We were extremely attracted to each other at the beginning, and we still are. I cannot look at him without wanting to seduce him right then and there. I am not sure if he still feels the same. He says he does, but it doesn’t show.
I know I come across as very selfish, but this is who I am.
I am self-sufficient, but I don’t want to be.
I live by ‘grass is not greener’, so I don’t know if I can find someone who is a better match.
I’ve tried vibrators and masturbation, but they leave me feeling – “what the f***?” It just feels so lonely and unemotional.
I have told him that I wanted to divorce before, he promised that he would do all the things that I was asking. He usually lasts around a week.
Sorry, my title was not the best. But it was the first thing that came to mind and descriptive.
I told him that the amount he is making is sufficient, I don't think it is about that.
He promised me 4 years ago that he was going to finish school in 2 years. Now he is saying he will be done in the fall. But I feel like there will always be something more important in his life.
If you can't throw in the towel, then I would suggest finding another counsellor. There are a lot of bad ones, and even some goods ones that won't work for you two. If you can't bring yourself to leave, then don't stop working on things.
THE perfect man... is one with flaws. Each flaw and characteristic is like a cut in stone... but when you back up to look at that stone as a whole... you will discover how truly beautiful it is. I think your focusing to much on the cut and not on the stone as a whole. Perfection is a matter of opinion just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I guess if you really want a made up guy... divorce the one you have and go hunt this shadow down.
My drive is through the roof high and has been for coming up on a year. It's much higher then my husband's. I honestly would love to have it more often, but I found out I was pushing my husband. He never once pushed me or even shown disappointment when I turned him down in the past. I feel I should do the same. He knows that I want it daily, but it's not happening at this time with him being busy and his current stress. I patiently wait for when he's ready. I'd never ever disrespect my husband in any way shape or form. I absolutely adore him and he is my biggest support!
My husband is my world, he didn't leave me when I became disabled in my mid 30's. I had a massive neck injury and our sex went to maybe once a month or so to none. 8 months went by without sex and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why he quit asking. It dawned on me that I've rejected him so many times and he was patiently waiting for me to come around, if ever. During this time my husband was doing everything he could to keep me happy. I woke up one day realizing how much he was doing for me and how little I was giving back. Not once was he upset or even angry for the lack of intimacy.
My husband and I support each other on everything. If he wanted to go back to school and get yet another degree, I'd be right there supporting him. If he left his job and took a huge pay cut, I'm still right there by his side! I'll go on disability if I have to. I'll live in a tent if I that's what it took to be with him. I'm housebound, so I can not work! When my husband trains for ironmans, I rarely see him. He works full time, then comes home and trains 6 days of the week. He loves racing in ironman triathlons. I'm right there with the kids at the finish line no matter how much pain I have to endure.
I adore my husband and he adores me. I'd be so hurt if he ever threatened to cheat I'd leave. Infidelity is my number one deal breaker. In fact neither of us have friendships with others of the opposite sex. My first husband cheated on me. I left as soon as I had solid proof and divorced him right away. My heart would be broken if he told me he was looking for intimacy elsewhere.
If you don't love your husband, then leave. We don't cheat on the ones we truly love. Leave your husband first before you decide to sleep with someone else. It's extremely disrespectful and the ultimate betrayal to cheat on your spouse. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. How would you feel if he wanted to sleep with another woman?
Don't cheat on him. Leave him first before you sleep around.
wow.. i think your main problems in your marriage revolve around how you guys view life. your hubs thinks big picture and you only think about right now. your hubs has life goals that revolve around his education and you have sexual goals that revolve around right now.
personally i think it's crazy to want to cheat on your husband because he wants to focus on his education instead of having sex with you all the time. did you marry your hubs for sex or for a life partner?
i havent read that book you're talking about, but i've heard about it. if i were you i'd burn the book and snap back into a reality. if you're expecting your husband to act like a fake guy from a book.. he wont. and if you think you'll find someone who will... you wont. cuz it's fake.
Well, you are all absolutely right.
I don’t want counseling any more as I didn’t have good experience trying it. When we went to see the first creepy one, her office was at her house, and it was full of staff. I mean almost hoarding style. I am sorry, but I couldn’t go back there. The second one had a nice office. She asked me for some examples of how my husband doesn’t listen to me. I said that he drives aggressively. Perhaps, it was a wrong example, but it came to mind at the time. I’ve asked him not to drive like that numerous times, and he ignores me. The counsellor suggested to him to drive at the speed limit for a week and see what happens. He agreed. I knew right there and then that he was not going to drive the speed limit ever. I didn’t say anything, but wanted to see what happens. And of course, he did not. Driving the speed limit was not the point.
At the back of my mind I know that I do need to divorce him, but I just can’t. We’ve been together for 15 years, and I am 35. We were extremely attracted to each other at the beginning, and we still are. I cannot look at him without wanting to seduce him right then and there. I am not sure if he still feels the same. He says he does, but it doesn’t show.
I know I come across as very selfish, but this is who I am.
I am self-sufficient, but I don’t want to be.
I live by ‘grass is not greener’, so I don’t know if I can find someone who is a better match.
I’ve tried vibrators and masturbation, but they leave me feeling – “what the f***?” It just feels so lonely and unemotional.
I have told him that I wanted to divorce before, he promised that he would do all the things that I was asking. He usually lasts around a week.
Sorry, my title was not the best. But it was the first thing that came to mind and descriptive.
I told him that the amount he is making is sufficient, I don't think it is about that.
He promised me 4 years ago that he was going to finish school in 2 years. Now he is saying he will be done in the fall. But I feel like there will always be something more important in his life.
get divorced he will never change. you will get false prommises and then nothing.
find a guy that desires you and set this one free to sponge off someone else. as he takes for ever to get through school.
or give me a call and I'll show you some shades of gray.
sorry about that last line.I'm sick of my wife also.
really listen to me if he dosn't have a sex drive now it ain't going to get better so unles your up for a marriage of unsatisfying sex with a selfish lazy lover who would rather study than eat pu$$y THEN GET DIVORCED while your still young.
Make a hard limit of this fall and then he is done. Have him agree to this.
If he renegs then divorce him. make sure he understands axactly this. Do not throw away 15 years becuase you cannot wait for him to finish school in the Fall.
He should also show good faith and up his game.
What the heck is he studying? Too bad he did not just go to school full time.
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Re: should i cheat? 
