blondy12003

He spent a year in Iraq. He knows its there but doesn't want to get help for it when though it has major effects on his and our life. I understand that its a lot of nasty stuff to deal with bit burying it and taking out the anger and frustration it causes on others isn't helping.
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blondy12003

If he isn't going to even attempt to be nice why should I? I'm not telling him how to feel I'm telling him he needs to have a better attitude on life in general because constant negativity out of anyone is draining to say the least and be supportive like he keeps saying he's going to. I've supported him through everything he has done and gone through and now the tables are turned and he won't return it.
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blondy12003

I can't bring myself to have sex with someone who throws nasty hurtful comments around all the time and then expects me to forget he said any of it and act like nothing happened. If he would show a little bit of try on the emotional side and not act like a flaming jerk the second we both get home I would work on the physical stuff. But until there is at least an attempt shown on his part he gets what he gives.
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thunderstruck

Then call a divorce lawyer today. You two can keep this cold war going on forever, or one of you could take the first step in saving the marriage. Be nice to him and bang his brains out for a few months...even if he's not being nice. If things get better, or don't, make your decision to walk or not at that point.

Prodigal

My husband was deployed to Iraq for a year back in 2003. What came home to me? Someone like your husband. Let people say what they want, everybody has a right to their opinions.

But I lived with the PTSD for six years after he returned. He got some help from the V.A., then quit going. He figured he could fix things himself.

I just gave you the condensed, Reader's Digest version.

End of story. End of marriage.

__________________
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

Paulination

You would be amazed at how positive ones outlook in life is and how supportive they can be when they have a healthy, fullfilling sexual relationship with their wife. Probably would do wonders for his PTSD as well. Your attitude makes him feel unloved. That hangs around his neck like an anchor and keeps him down.

If you want this to work, sit him down and explain that you understand that withholding sex from him is probably a contributing factor to his attitude (even if you don't think it is) and tell him that you will do your part to rectify that. Then take him to the bedroom and do your thing. Be available to him for the next month and then if nothing changes, it never will and you can leave knowing you did all you could.

I can almost guarentee you that after one month your household will be a place of marital bliss and if it isn't, then your husband is indeed tha a$$ you make him out to be and no one will fault you for moving on.

You have got to get out of the "I'm not rewarding him for bad behavior" attitude. That stance is not all bad but we're talking about a marital dynamic here that needs to be broken and he quite frankly might not know how. His attitude will change all on its own, with no cognitive help from himself if you just try this.

Ten_year_hubby

Except for the fact that you are married, the really is no reason to do anything on your part so don't let that get in your way