General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
MomTwo, just wanted to say -- first, go you, and secondly, you just survived an entire day of people discussing your masturbatory history right here in the open on the web.
Just want to take the no chance of babies thing out of this thread. Stop using that as an excuse here. If you really wanted to get pregnant, it is possible to aspirate sperm from the teste and get pregnant. I have a friend who had a vasectomy when married to his first wife and wanted another child with wife # 2 he has a very cute little boy! So stop thinking of you husband as importantly changed. He isn't,
I agree that we could still get pregnant somehow if we really wanted to.I guess it has just been a mental thing for me. I didn't realize how much our sex was "baby-making sex" until after the vasectomy. Now I'm realizing just how out-of-sync in the bed we really were/are.
MomTwo, just wanted to say -- first, go you, and secondly, you just survived an entire day of people discussing your masturbatory history right here in the open on the web.
I think you can do it, don't you???
I know, right?? LOL I am so behind (housewise) with everything right now! I'm willing to try. I still feel pretty young, and I don't want to go through a lifetime of (in my mind) obligatory sex.
Uh, no, Kando, that is physically impossible, so please to not be spreading misinformation. Jeez.
After reading your comment, I did a search to see who was correct, before commenting. Where did you get your information that sperm cannot be removed from the testes to be used in fertilization? Every fertility site I checked out on here has that, as well as aspirating from the epididymis. Sometimes they snip a small piece of the testicle for the sperm. It's not enough for conventional IUI or IVF, but it can be done for ICSI. So, yes, it is physically possibly to aspirate sperm from the testes.
I'm reviving this thread because Athol Kay posted a blog yesterday on this issue, and I find a very uncanny similarity between momtwo4 here and the woman Julia in Athol's post here.
Athol admits there's no scientific evidence behind the issue, but I'm curious as to what momtwo4 thinks after she reads it and if she finds any correlation to her own feelings on the vasectomy issue.
Also momtwo4, regarding the "Big O"... it seems that the most successful way for my wife to orgasm is through P-in-V intercourse when she rides me cowgirl position (her on top facing me, if you're not familiar w/ "cowgirl" as a term). The secret for her however is not going up and down on my shaft, but rather staying down so my shaft is fully penetrated inside her, and moving forward and backwards so her clitoris gets friction from my pubic bone area while my shaft simultaneously stimulates her insides.
If you haven't tried a method like this you should explore it... and it may take some trial and error so don't get discouraged if it doesn't work at first. This method used to have like a 70% success rate for my wife but lately in the past 3 months or so it seems to be working 100% of the time for her!
I'm reviving this thread because Athol Kay posted a blog yesterday on this issue, and I find a very uncanny similarity between momtwo4 here and the woman Julia in Athol's post here.
Athol admits there's no scientific evidence behind the issue, but I'm curious as to what momtwo4 thinks after she reads it and if she finds any correlation to her own feelings on the vasectomy issue.
Also momtwo4, regarding the "Big O"... it seems that the most successful way for my wife to orgasm is through P-in-V intercourse when she rides me cowgirl position (her on top facing me, if you're not familiar w/ "cowgirl" as a term). The secret for her however is not going up and down on my shaft, but rather staying down so my shaft is fully penetrated inside her, and moving forward and backwards so her clitoris gets friction from my pubic bone area while my shaft simultaneously stimulates her insides.
If you haven't tried a method like this you should explore it... and it may take some trial and error so don't get discouraged if it doesn't work at first. This method used to have like a 70% success rate for my wife but lately in the past 3 months or so it seems to be working 100% of the time for her!
I can relate to the woman in the article. Honestly, I am still bothered by the vasectomy if I think about it too much. If I had it to do over again, I might insist that my husband not go through with the big "V" and I would get an IUD instead. However, he really wanted it done, and at the time I only thought it was fair since we are done having children. I've thought about it a lot, and sterilization is such a personal issue for many people.
For me, our fertility as a couple was tied to our sexuality, and I think this is why I have struggled with it so much. When we have sex, I do sometimes dwell on the fact that he is "shooting blanks" and it is honestly a turn-off to me. However, I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that I could tell the difference between a man who has had a vasectomy and one who has not (as the woman in the article seems to imply). At the same time, I didn't realize how much my sexual feelings toward my husband were tied into his ability to father a child until after he had the vasectomy.
For us, what's done is done. I try not to dwell on the issue too much, and instead concentrate on the amazing virile man that my husband is. The vasectomy is really what spurred me to examine my own feelings surrounding sex, so I think I've grown in many ways. I do feel strongly that something as permanent as a vasectomy should be a joint decision in a marriage. A wife should not pressure her husband to get snipped if he doesn't want to. And a husband should not insist on getting snipped if his wife has uneasy feelings about it. It really can have lasting ramifications if both are not 100% on board.
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Re: Ambivalent feelings about Vasectomy 
