I'm reviving this thread because Athol Kay posted a blog yesterday on this issue, and I find a very uncanny similarity between momtwo4 here and the woman Julia in Athol's post here
Athol admits there's no scientific evidence behind the issue, but I'm curious as to what momtwo4 thinks after she reads it and if she finds any correlation to her own feelings on the vasectomy issue.
Also momtwo4, regarding the "Big O"... it seems that the most successful way for my wife to orgasm is through P-in-V intercourse when she rides me cowgirl position (her on top facing me, if you're not familiar w/ "cowgirl" as a term). The secret for her however is not going up and down on my shaft, but rather staying down so my shaft is fully penetrated inside her, and moving forward and backwards so her clitoris gets friction from my pubic bone area while my shaft simultaneously stimulates her insides.
If you haven't tried a method like this you should explore it... and it may take some trial and error so don't get discouraged if it doesn't work at first. This method used to have like a 70% success rate for my wife but lately in the past 3 months or so it seems to be working 100% of the time for her!
I can relate to the woman in the article. Honestly, I am still bothered by the vasectomy if I think about it too much. If I had it to do over again, I might insist that my husband not go through with the big "V" and I would get an IUD instead. However, he really wanted it done, and at the time I only thought it was fair since we are done having children. I've thought about it a lot, and sterilization is such a personal issue for many people.
For me, our fertility as a couple was tied to our sexuality, and I think this is why I have struggled with it so much. When we have sex, I do sometimes dwell on the fact that he is "shooting blanks" and it is honestly a turn-off to me. However, I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that I could tell the difference between a man who has had a vasectomy and one who has not (as the woman in the article seems to imply). At the same time, I didn't realize how much my sexual feelings toward my husband were tied into his ability to father a child until after he had the vasectomy.
For us, what's done is done. I try not to dwell on the issue too much, and instead concentrate on the amazing virile man that my husband is. The vasectomy is really what spurred me to examine my own feelings surrounding sex, so I think I've grown in many ways. I do feel strongly that something as permanent as a vasectomy should be a joint decision in a marriage. A wife should not pressure her husband to get snipped if he doesn't want to. And a husband should not insist on getting snipped if his wife has uneasy feelings about it. It really can have lasting ramifications if both are not 100% on board.