RClawson

[QUOTE=Nova;792613]ThatGirl: Yes the marriage does work for me. Aside from minor arguments it is a great situation. It isn't normal but it has worked. I am happy and I can't imagine not having either woman in my life. I love all my children and my older two love their twin brothers. What would you call asking me to kick out the mother of my children and my two youngest kids to be other than heartless? My boys won't have the life they deserve living in a studio apartment without their father.

Absolutely. It would be criminal if your kids do not have you around for a role model.

Nova

Keko: Girlfriend sleeps in another bedroom. We have 5 BDRs. One for girlfriend. One for wife. One is a playroom/bedroom (will become a bedroom once the kids get older). One is a nursery. And one is an office. The house is a little small for us as it is now and I was looking into getting a new home before the baby comes. We just found out my wife is pregnant last week and now she starts complaining about girlfriend. I think in the new house I could try to separate things and maybe give them more space. Thanks for the advice

iheartlife: I'll look into other forums. I haven't found any poly forums really. I was just looking for general relationship advice. There is no requirement for you to post if you don't have any advice. Please feel free to ignore my thread if it bothers you

FrenchFry: I understand what you are saying. I love her and I want her to be happy. But I can't and won't set her free or tell her to leave. I will do whatever I can (within reason) to make her happy. She is a wonderful woman and I want her to be happy. You can't expect me to encourage my wife to go see other men... I'll support her gladly as long as she lives with me. If she is not living with me than I will do what I have to legally to support my children. I won't be generous to her though. But I really don't want it to become a situation like that.

Pbear: Thanks for your comments. My wife says she loves me and she is just disappointed with the direction our lives have gone. I understand that are setup benefits me more than her. That is undeniable. But this isn't all bad for my wife either. She lives a charmed life. I support her and make sure her and our entire family has whatever we need.

Shaggy: I remember you from my old posts! This isn't an abusive situation. I've never laid a finger on my wife OR girlfriend. That isn't the type of man I am. My wife hasn't asked or suggested she wants a divorce. She just said she wasn't happy. I don't want a divorce. There is more than my home and my kids at stake but also my business. I don't think my wife would have the audacity to try to take those things away from me. She isn't like that. But there is a lot to lose with a divorce potentially.

FrenchFry: I would not be okay with giving my wife a taste of life without me. Especially considering she is pregnant with my child. I don't want any other men anywhere near my wife. Sorry but that isn't an option.

Shaggy: Please give advice to help my marriage not end it.

RClawson: I am a great dad. I take a lot of pride in being an involved and active father. I don't know based off what you are suggesting I am not a good role model.

TeaLeaves4

So your wife is your tenant in your home? Sorry buddy but the law won't agree with you there, whether she works outside the home or not. I don't think it's your choice whether your wife involves herself with other men now. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Or do you feel that since you support her you get to step out on her but she doesn't?

No matter, she eventually will. And she'll be perfectly justified in my opinion.
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FrenchFry

I can see this thread going nowhere fast, the only advice I have for you is go seek family counseling and encourage your wife to find an excellent individual counselor.

I'm going to leave though with: you do not want your wife to be happy. You want her to be happy on your terms and your terms are going to make it very very difficult for her to be happy.

Good luck.

Shaggy

His wife lives a charmed life as the other woman in her own marriage.

Dude, she is tellong you she isn't happy and wishes she never married you. Clearly she isnt living a charmed life.

And emotional and spiritual abuse is also abuse.

This situation is entirely manufactured by you for your exclusive benefit.

Polygamy is illegal in the US, at least some better groups actual give each wife their own home do they don't have to live with the other woman.

You cheated on your wife with the gf after you told you wife you had stopped. You knocked up the gf and forced your wife to live in the same house as the knock up gf snd your kid with the gf.

Now she is getting enough self repesct under her to realize just how messed up this has become for her, and how you've done nothing kind or caring for her. Sorry but roof over your wife's head doesn't count, especially when she is forced to live with the humiliation of living in a forced polygamist relationship with her husband.

And you pay this entirely one sided. You are the one with the gf,while she is the one who has to share her so called husband.

She's telling you how desperately unhappy she is and you totally refuse to recognize the unhappiness is entirely completely and nonnegotiable of your making.
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Shaggy

You want advice on your marriage.

Stop cheating with the gf.

Move out the gf and pay her child support

Give your wife back the original terms you agreed to in your marriage contract before you rewrote it and told your wife that you are keeping the gf you are cheating with snd that you are moving the gf into the marriage home.

That Is how you fix your marriage. The problem is that you don't want to fix your marriage, you actually want help with finding ways to keep your wife locked up in this self serving situation you created.
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Gaia

Nova.. you are NOT entitled to do whatever you wish and then keep your wife under your thumb like a slave. Your posts have screamed selfish, ignorant, controlling, and abusive to me. You do not have the right to decide anything for your wife and you need to accept this as well as accept the consequences that come with this behavior if she does file for divorce. It is NOT up to you to decide for her.

Gaia

By the way this is abusive. Maybe not physical but it's mentally and emotionally abusive to your wife whether you realize it or not.

RClawson

RClawson: I am a great dad. I take a lot of pride in being an involved and active father. I don't know based off what you are suggesting I am not a good role model.[/QUOTE]

Uh we obviously have different standards of what makes a great dad. If my Dad cheated on my Mom, then worked out a deal with my Mom to cheat with her permission, then got the other girl pregnant, then moved her into our house and rubbed my Mom's nose in it then I do not think I would refer to that guy as a Dad, or a Husband. I would refer to him as the guy that could not keep his wick in his pants and screwed with my Mom's head.

You were saying? Troll?

Maricha75

Ok first... your wife was dealing with a toddler and a baby... likely dealing with "baby blues" or PPD...and she suggested you go fvck another woman...AND YOU TOOK HER UP ON IT! Dude, seriously? She didn't mean for you to do it. She was testing you. And you failed. And now, you are FORCING her to live with the other woman. Obviously, you care more for this shack job than for the woman you gave your name. If you didn't, when she suggested moving the gf out, you would have done it NO PROBLEM. It isn't a matter of not being there for your twins. Plenty of divorced couples, and even those who never married but had children, have suitable arrangements. You pay child support, you see the kids. You will be providing for them, no matter where they live. No, your problem is that you want to have your gf easily accessible, with no care for your wife's feelings.

You say you won't leave the gf. Well, here is the practical advice you asked for, tho it's not what you want to hear: Pick one or the other. The women are both obviously unhappy. You seem to want the gf more than your wife. So find a nice home for your wife and the older kids so she can move on and be happy. As long as you constantly disrespect her by staying involved with your *****, she won't be happy.

Btw, what will happen if you get a larger house? Will you find ANOTHER gf and get her pregnant and move her in as well?

Yes, you ARE abusing your wife...and frankly, the other woman as well. You are forcing them to live according to what YOU want, with no care for their feelings. Absolutely disgusting.

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Hopefull363

Please do not force this on your wife. Ask her what she wants. If it's for the girlfriend to go and you can't do that then set your wife free. If you truly love her you would see how you are hurting her. If you live in the United States your wife would be entitled to a lot upon divorce. Your girlfriend would be entitled to child support only. She's just a girlfriend and isn't entitled to legal protection. If you have to live this life style then find WILLING participants.

anchorwatch

My wife says she wishes she wasn't married to me
Gee, you think?

Nova, your view of what a your relationship could or should be is so far skewed off center, of what is a normal relationship. You'can't expect any one in such a relationship to act in any predictable way. You are trying to mix reality with fantasy. It's not going to happen. You have screwed your marriage up to the point of no return. She allowed you to have a FB, her mistake. You betrayed her by not sticking to the ridiculous agreement, and you admit it. What did you expect form something so absurd? I don't expect you care, but my advice to you is give it up, it can't work, as you are finding out now. Let you wife have a divorce and move on. Maybe she can find someone who could stick by her in sickness and health.
Sorry I have nothing encouraging to say. Hope you all end up in a better place.

that_girl

Your marriage works for YOU, but you aren't the only one in the marriage. Obviously it's not working for your wife.

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that_girl

And eww....imagine hearing your spouse having sex with their live-in boy/girlfriend.

*gag*

I'd take the kids and go.

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Mrs. T

I'd say you've made your choice as to which of the women in your life is more important. Your wife realizes this and its my guess that she will play second fiddle for only so long before she explodes. I'm sure when she told you to see another woman for sex she didn't expect you to move her and her children in to her own house. Yikes!! You remember what Lorena Bobitt did to her husband don't you? I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you!

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The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.