Originally Posted by Unhappy2011

And notice how in the OP, he frames his marriage as "not conventional but works for us."

Us being him.
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Originally Posted by Unhappy2011

And notice how in the OP, he frames his marriage as "not conventional but works for us."

Us being him.
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Originally Posted by Mrs. T

I'd say you've made your choice as to which of the women in your life is more important. Your wife realizes this and its my guess that she will play second fiddle for only so long before she explodes. I'm sure when she told you to see another woman for sex she didn't expect you to move her and her children in to her own house. Yikes!! You remember what Lorena Bobitt did to her husband don't you? I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you!

Originally Posted by Unhappy2011

I even wonder if it was really your wifes idea for you to see other women. I suspect you planted that seed and manipulated her To agree out of exasperation.
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Originally Posted by Coffee Amore

I also wonder why the OP came here instead of polyamorous forums. I wonder if it's because in those forums, the few I've read anyway, they advocate honesty and they don't promote cheating (as they define it). They would see what he's doing as cheating. In such a forum the people would probably tell the OP's wife that she's equally free to find another male partner if the OP were really practicing a polyamorous lifestyle. He doesn't want her to have another man. It's alright for him to have a live-in girlfriend but he won't extend the same courtesy to her. That kind of talk wouldn't go over well with those who are truly polyamorous.

Originally Posted by Nova

I've been married to my wife for almost six years. She is an amazing woman that I am thankful for everyday. We have a 4 y.o. daughter together and a 2.5 y.o. son. I am 34 and my wife is 32. Our marriage was fairly normal and over-all happy until about two years ago.

My wife became sick and her illness took a toll on all of us. Her illness wasn't terminal but it did have some side effects. Her sex drive plummeted as a result of some of the medication that she was on. We ended up fighting over this loss of intimacy constantly for a few months. Eventually my wife proposed if I wanted I could have a Friends with benefit type relationship until she felt better. This was a generous offer from my wife and after a few weeks I ended up meeting a young woman and we hit it off.

We ended up kind of dating and hooking up a lot. It was a lot of fun but I started to fall for her. My girlfriend started to want something more serious after a few months and we started to have more of a relationship. This wasn't what my wife intended when she allowed me to step out of our mariage.

After about 5 months of going out my girlfriend's lease was up and I offered to let her rent a room at our house. We have a fairly large home and we were spending a lot of time together as it was. My wife was apprehensive about this but agreed as it was supposed to be short term. My girlfriend was a lot of help around the home and she became close to our kids. My wife and girlfriend eventually became friends of sorts but there has always been some tension.

Two months after my girlfriend moved in my wife's health issues began to get better. She wanted me to stop seeing my girlfriend as her drive had returned and she was feeling better. I told her I would. My girlfriend had become a part of our family and we didn't want to throw her out so she stayed at our home even after our relationship was to be over.

This is where I made a horrible mistake and treated my wife in a way that she didn't deserve. I ended up still occasionally sleeping with my girlfriend. It was so difficult with our attraction still being there and her being so close. We kept up this charade for a few weeks. In March of last year she found out she was pregnant. This was not something that was planned and it was an accident. She decided that she did not want to have an abortion. I couldn't in good faith ask her to have an abortion and I didn't. She considered it for some time out of respect to my wife but decided she couldn't. We came clean to my wife about the pregnancy and my wife responded horribly. She called me all sorts of names and told me to leave our home.

I begged her for forgiveness and told her we could make this work in our own way. I have always had an issue with being faithful and its something that has plagued my relationships. My wife knows this and has forgiven me in the past for transgressions. After we talked about if for several days she agreed that my girlfriend could stay at our home. We ended up deciding to try out a polyamorous relationship. We agreed on several ground-rules. I was not allowed to sleep with anyone outside of my wife or girlfriend. My wife agreed to not sleep with anyone else. My girlfriend agreed to not sleep with any other men (she is bi-sexual).

We've been living together since then in this fashion. My girlfriend had our twins in November. The babies are now six months old. We have had our ups and downs but we seem to get along well enough. My wife and girlfriend are a great team for raising the kids and we have a good routine. I run my own business and I'm the single income for our home. We do fine financially which has been a relief but my hours have been heavier as of late which has led to some to some fights.

We've had issues with jealousy from my wife towards my girlfriend. My wife has been pushing for us to try for another baby which has been a bit of a stressor. We've also had to deal with some family issues. My wife's family thinks I am the worst husband ever and are not supportive of our lifestyle. And four kids under 4 can be a challenge. I feel like sometimes my wife is resentful of me and that has been an underlying issue in our marriage. She didn't want this and even though we are happy in general she isn't as gung-ho about this as the rest of us.

I hope I can help some people who are considering a poly-lifestyle and answer some questions about everything related to it. There is a lot of misconceptions. I'm also hoping that I can find some solutions to the disputes we have in our marriage and relationships.

Originally Posted by Nova

My marriage isn't a normal one (by any stretch) but it has worked for us. My wife and I have been married for 6 years and we have two kids (4 & 2.5) and she is 6 weeks pregnant with our third right now. We went through a brutal stretch in our marriage a few years ago and she gave me permission to see another woman casually. That spiraled out of control and the other woman - my girlfriend ended up pregnant. She moved in with us and lives with us. I have 19 month old twins with my girlfriend.

Originally Posted by Nova

I
My wife told me this morning that she wishes she never married me.

Originally Posted by Maricha75

Hold on a second.... how did the twins go from 6 months old last month to 19 months old NOW?

Originally Posted by FrenchFry

Nice catch Maricha!

Originally Posted by Maricha75

The best part? I wasn't even LOOKING for discrepancies! I went tot he original thread because I never read it before and I wanted to see what he had posted. When I read the 6 months, I thought "wait, didn't he say 19 months?"... LMAO