Bill_S

I am 50 yrs. old and i have been married 8 years and have been with my wife 3 yrs. before that. My wife cheated on me about 6 yrs. ago and there are problems i am facing today. When she cheated on me i found her at a local gambling casino with her friend. So i confronted her and her friend at the casino and put an end to that right away. About 2 months after that i saw debits from our bank account from the same casino. That made all the feelings come back again (ugly time). She said she was not doing anything and i do beleive her. She has gone back to that same casino over and over again knowing that it tears me up inside and tells me theres nothing on she and is going and its for the fun. She has a gambling problem for sure. I have told her a number of times that when she goes there she puts me back to the day she cheated on me and it takes forever to get over those feelings. She still goes to that place noing how it makes me feel. Today i feel like i love her but by no means am i in love with her the way i did when we got married.
Now the second half of this is that in the last six months the wife of a good friend of mine has been there to talk to but i feel like i am starting to have some real strong feelings for her. I find myself flurting with a lot via email and she does not tell me to stop. In talking to her she has opened up her problems as well. Should i not talk this women or do i keep on with the good feelings?

Maricha75

Ok, so, you have developed feelings for your friend's wife? And you are asking if you should just continue with the flirting emails? Let me ask this again... you have developed feelings for YOUR FRIEND'S WIFE and you are asking if that is ok???? Now, really, what would YOUR FRIEND say about this?? If you want your marriage to work, then talk to your wife. Get her, and yourself, into counseling. Her for the gambling and whatever other issues she has. You because of the cheating YOU are now doing. Yes, it is cheating. Emotional cheating. And, if you want to fix your marriage, get to MC. If not, then divorce your wife and be done with it. But stay away from YOUR FRIEND'S WIFE!!!!!!!!

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Bill_S

Your right! My head is messed up right now and i need to talk to a counselor. I think there is a little self esteem problem.
THANKS

eowyn

Your friends wife should be OFFLIMITS to you no matter what! No matter where your marriage is, no matter what your wife does, irrespective of whether you are married or not.

Simone25

Anytime you talk to someone else your risking something happening. Stop talking to her!

turnera

Your problem is that you are acting beta (letting your wife continue to gamble) when she needs you to act alpha.

Toffer

I agree with staying away from the Friend's wife completely. No more contact whatsoever!

As to your wife, she is showing you a complete lack of respect but disregarding your feelings about her visits to that same casino time and time again. Is it the only casino she can go to?

Yes, she seems to have a gambling problem and should deal with that issue too.