Ele - I have diagnosed my husband with Narcissism... He has ALL of the characteristics. I would like him to be professionally diagnosed, but there's no way he would ever go for that. When we went to marital counseling together it was a huge failure - he is incredibly adept at painting himself to be the "good guy/victim" and me as the crazy one.
Have you ever seen the movie American Psycho? THAT guy IS my husband!!! The opening scenes where he is applying his face masks and going about his beauty regime IS my husband! He is so vain, so obsessed with his appearance and health - he is so self-involved it's not even funny.
He puts down people he doesn't know. We can be driving the car somewhere and he'll pick a random pedestrian to put down, (to me, not to their faces). He'll go off on a little tirade about how they're broke, poor, probably go home smoke crack and beat their wives in addition to living off of assistance (hey so are WE! But we're better than that guy!) I can't stand his negativity! I try to show him acts of compassion - when I had money, if someone begging for change/was hungry I'd buy them something to eat, etc. He said before that he loves my humanity, but he will never in a million years do something like that on his own.
Here is some info on Narcissism... Under the criteria, my husband matches every one. Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A little about his childhood: his mother herself proclaims that she was much too involved with her social life when her son was growing up to be much of a parent. I should have known, from the first time she ever emailed me, she said, "If he ever does anything to hurt you, it's my fault. I wasn't a good mother to him." (Here, "hurt" is not in the physical context). His mother dated musicians who traveled, and would leave her very young son with friends of the band members - people she barely knew. He has shared a few horror stories from this time... From having the father of some family threaten to beat him up to being molested by an older boy.
After a bit he was sent to live with his grandparents. They are righteous bible thumpers who were huge on religion. My husband has often told me THIS point in his life is where he developed his passive aggressive tendencies. They would tell him what he could and could not do... And of course, he did what he wanted anyways and they always turned a blind eye.
After some years his mother decided to come back into his life, (she found God as well), and became what he described as "overbearing". Funny. He says the same thing about me...
Well... That's all I can write for now... The baby beckons me! Posted via Mobile Device