My husband lies about everything, but it is never anything that is worth lying about.
He has been seeing various therapists for a year or more, but he never seems to find a way to improve his self-esteem. He has been diagnosed with ADD and depression. He truly does have ADD; he even had the series of brain scans done through the Amen clinic.
His family knows of his struggles and is supportive; we are all trying to help him and have been all along.
If it makes a difference, we have been married for six months. Before anyone says anything about how I should have known how he was, let me say that before we got married, I knew he had ADD, but he masterfully hid many things from me (not to mention, he was lying to me all along). Some of the things he has lied about: 1. Lied about still attending college:
He received warnings about academic probation, but essentially ignored them. He didn't attempt to petition the decision, either. For 9 months he pretending to commute to school (an hour away) twice a week. He blamed me for dropping out. 2. Lied about having two part-time jobs:
He managed to trick me about having two part-time jobs. He had so many details--he even told me the names of his co-workers and supervisors and talked about them in detail. I only discovered this lie when the paychecks he claimed to deposit never showed up and I confronted him about it.
These two major lies came out about the same time--I don't consider myself a stupid person, but I am a trusting one and I have been busy due to trying to pick up the slack financially. The work lie lasted about a month because it started with lying about the interviews and training, and finally ended when no money appeared. I believed the lie about him going to school because his parents had been paying for it; he left the same time to go to school and always came back at the same time. Further, he even bought some books for the classes he pretended to take.
He is now prescribed with Wellbutrin, Adderall, and Concerta. He is seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, both of which he sees weekly.
I truly believe in marriage and giving things my best shot. He has major self-esteem issues; I don't want to be too harsh, but I don't want to hurt myself either. He has made very, very miniscule improvements. He has made a very small amount of improvement, but he still lies about things like money. I have been invited to the therapy; should I go with him?
I went once, but didn't go back because (and I know this is selfish of me) I felt that it got my hopes up. I am foolish for thinking that the results will be instant of course.