Originally Posted by TRy
Wow, he just told you to your face that when in the presence of the other woman (OW), they will be the couple and you will be the third wheel that gets left out. In other words, he would chose her over you. This friendship is more than just a friendship. It is way out of bounds of normal. He will soon be or already is in an emotional affair with this OW. This trip will give him the possible opportunity to escalate it to a physical affair (PA), which is why he does not want you to go.
He should not only forget the trip but you should demand full no contact with this OW. You are in a fight for you marraige and time is not on your side. The more he gets in the fog the more likely that you will lose the fight. Be prepared to tell him that you will see and attorney and mean it. Being willing to end the marriage because you will not be walked on or cheated on actually increases the odds of your marraige working out long term.
^^^This. It's is not normal for husband act like this. Clearly it's MORE than just a friendship, it's beginning of EA that will probably lead to PA if he goes alone. I would not believe that he is staying in hotel, even if he is it does not mean he will stay there. And it's extremely weird he won't bring you when there is another person going to be there, it's bull ****.
Have him cut ALL contact with that woman, what he is asking for is rediculous especially since he won't let you go with him. he is YOUR husband, either he chooses you or her. If he goes without you it's clear sign he has chosen her... I would file for divorce at this point.
If he had said "yes" the first you asked going with him than I wouldn't be worried about him having contact with her, but the fact he says no is BULL ****, he obviously has other intentions.
She can stay at your house or you go there, do not take anything esle for answer. If he goes nonetheless than you should probably seek a divorce attorney. He has NO reason/excuse of why he should go without you, why wouldn't he want you to go, unless he had something planned that he didn't want you to know of.
It's weird he is going to visit a female friend out of state in first place, and even weirder to deny his WIFE going with him. It's a NO NO.