kitkateybug

We've been to a marriage therapist a few times, but have since stopped because we just don't have the money and decided it wasn't worth it. So now I'm here to ask what kind of good relationship books are out there that could help us. I don't wanna go buying everything off the shelf that looks good because I can't afford the bad ones. Could you give me ideas of some good ones? Thanks.

Gaia

the five languages of love
his needs/ her needs



these are about the only two that come to mind at the moment.... im sure someone else will post a better list.

KathyBatesel

The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman

The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

These are the two best general guides I have seen. Depending on your particular situations, there may be other good ones.

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seesah

"The Lies We Believe" by Dr. Chris Thurman. It really helped me lower my expectations for my marriage and life in general.

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kitkateybug

Thanks for the advice. Can anybody tell me something about
Love & Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs? I think that's the book that our therapist told us about, but we never read it.
Amazon.com: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs (9781594153204): Dr. Emerson Eggerichs: Books

iheartlife

Also Love Busters, to be read in conjunction with His Needs / Her Needs.

Our excellent MC loves Gottman book Kathy mentioned, I have started it and like it a lot.
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WillK

The books I bought when we were having trouble and our therapist wasn't worth the money were:

5 Love Languages
His Needs/Her Needs
Boundaries in Marriage
Married Man's Sex Life Primer

I read Married Man's Sex Life Primer completely and it's really changed things.

I've started reading 5 Love Languages. To be honest, it's boring me and I'm not finding it as helpful. I'm a guy, so maybe that has something to do with it, and the book relates to rational love actions and I don't think that was where our biggest issues were.

It might be a good book, but maybe for us in particular it isn't that big of a revalation. We took the test on the website to identify our primary love languages and they weren't that different.

Anyway by contrast, MMSL helped a lot because it explains things that you should do while relating them to the body chemistry behind our emotions. It makes sense of things that seem a little contrary to what seems rational.

I haven't yet read the other books to comment... I find myself having to push myself to read 5 Love Languages, and as such I also find myself anticipating the same with the other books. I'd really appreciate hearing more about the other books from others so I can get a better feel for if any of them are going to speak to me.

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The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html