General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I am married to a wonderful person with two kids and recently started to get along very well with a co-worker. I won't go into all the details, the bottom line is we click and probably have some sort of chemistry. We chat at work, joke around, talk about struggles we have or have had and also chatted on facebook. We probably have had some discussions that would be considered grey area regarding appropriateness. We have had sexually charged discussions and once those started to occur we both agreed we could not continue like that, so those discussions stopped. We have both expressed how we feel and that we care about eachother and I think there is an attraction there on both sides. But since I am married we are not willing to embrace anything other than friendship.
Recently she left the company we work for and we have gone back and forth on whether we should continue to work on being friends. Right or wrong I have been pushing to continue our friendship in a healthy way. Maybe I am kidding myself.
At some point she sort of freaked out and has blocked me from facebook, and emailed me that she can't talk to me anymore because she doesn't want to mess up my marriage. I have not come to grips with why she has done this and it has really bugged me and I have been thinking about her a lot lately and miss our fun/funny conversations and talking about life. I feel like I haven't gotten closure on this whole thing because she has gone cold turkey.
I respect her reason above so have a hard time being angry with her, but struggling with her decision. Is this a completely selfless act on her part or does she not want to talk to me for other reasons? I would like to get closure and feel like reaching out to her to see if she is willing to reconsider to see if we can make this friendship work out.
I am not sure what I should do. Should I keep trying to get a hold of her or just give up?
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Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
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You cheated on your wife it just wasn't physical. Imagine how great your marriage could be if you put that energy into it instead.
You should never even put yourself in that position to begin with. Hopefully you have learned something from this and will never jeopardize your marraige and family again. Posted via Mobile Device
I am married to a wonderful person with two kids and recently started to get along very well with a co-worker. I won't go into all the details, the bottom line is we click and probably have some sort of chemistry. We chat at work, joke around, talk about struggles we have or have had and also chatted on facebook. We probably have had some discussions that would be considered grey area regarding appropriateness. We have had sexually charged discussions and once those started to occur we both agreed we could not continue like that, so those discussions stopped. We have both expressed how we feel and that we care about eachother and I think there is an attraction there on both sides. But since I am married we are not willing to embrace anything other than friendship.
Recently she left the company we work for and we have gone back and forth on whether we should continue to work on being friends. Right or wrong I have been pushing to continue our friendship in a healthy way. Maybe I am kidding myself.
At some point she sort of freaked out and has blocked me from facebook, and emailed me that she can't talk to me anymore because she doesn't want to mess up my marriage. I have not come to grips with why she has done this and it has really bugged me and I have been thinking about her a lot lately and miss our fun/funny conversations and talking about life. I feel like I haven't gotten closure on this whole thing because she has gone cold turkey.
I respect her reason above so have a hard time being angry with her, but struggling with her decision. Is this a completely selfless act on her part or does she not want to talk to me for other reasons? I would like to get closure and feel like reaching out to her to see if she is willing to reconsider to see if we can make this friendship work out.
I am not sure what I should do. Should I keep trying to get a hold of her or just give up?
Move on. Since you both had attraction on both sides and crossed what is appropriate this relationship will not be good for your marriage.
Wow. Definitely cheating on your wife. Sex or no sex. I think your wife should divorce you, get a good lawyer and then you can continue galavanting looking for this chick or others. Posted via Mobile Device
Sometimes the unknown and the thought of someone been attracted to you, hinders and greys your conscience and line of thought.
Thats all it will ever be, and you are still lucky to have your wife. The shelfiness is from you, not her. Im glad she can see light of day and moved on. She is hoping you do to. Cause the friendship pushed boundaries, she cannot go back there and i dont blame her.
For this very reason, this friendship will not work. Grow some and move on and place all your energies in the woman that does love you, and be grateful for that.
You need the leave her alone. You are cheating on your wife. You know and knew it was wrong yet you continued to do it. You need to tell your wife.
You keep thinking of this other woman. Its not fair to your wife. I would want to know if my husband were wanting to be with another woman.
How would you feel if your wife left because of this? Because if you keep pursuing this woman...thats whats going to happen. It takes one moment of weakness and you've gone to the point of no return. Do you really want to break your family up over this????
There is nothing heathly about this situation, friends or not. Good for her as to stopping contact! A very respectful thing to do. Your actions would end your marriage and ruin the life of your wife and children.
There is nothing heathly about this situation, friends or not. Good for her as to stopping contact! A very respectful thing to do. Your actions would end your marriage and ruin the life of your wife and children.
Amen to that!
I can only imagine if she hadn't gone NC with the OP.
Dollars to donuts this EA would have advanced to a PA.
To the OP, time to turn your focus on your wife & stop worrying about why your friend wanted to end your "relationship."
She ended things because she knew that you were cheating on your wife, she was the one to do the right thing.
So there's your "closure."
I am married to a wonderful person with two kids and recently started to get along very well with a co-worker. I won't go into all the details, the bottom line is we click and probably have some sort of chemistry. We chat at work, joke around, talk about struggles we have or have had and also chatted on facebook. We probably have had some discussions that would be considered grey area regarding appropriateness. We have had sexually charged discussions and once those started to occur we both agreed we could not continue like that, so those discussions stopped. We have both expressed how we feel and that we care about eachother and I think there is an attraction there on both sides. But since I am married we are not willing to embrace anything other than friendship.
Recently she left the company we work for and we have gone back and forth on whether we should continue to work on being friends. Right or wrong I have been pushing to continue our friendship in a healthy way. Maybe I am kidding myself.
At some point she sort of freaked out and has blocked me from facebook, and emailed me that she can't talk to me anymore because she doesn't want to mess up my marriage. I have not come to grips with why she has done this and it has really bugged me and I have been thinking about her a lot lately and miss our fun/funny conversations and talking about life. I feel like I haven't gotten closure on this whole thing because she has gone cold turkey.
I respect her reason above so have a hard time being angry with her, but struggling with her decision. Is this a completely selfless act on her part or does she not want to talk to me for other reasons? I would like to get closure and feel like reaching out to her to see if she is willing to reconsider to see if we can make this friendship work out.
I am not sure what I should do. Should I keep trying to get a hold of her or just give up?
Dude, she gave you closure. She said "I can't talk to you anymore because I don't want to mess up your marriage." She took the high road. Stop pursuing her. There is NO way you could ever be just friends with her. You had an EA with this woman. You cheated on your wife. My guess is that this "friend" changed jobs so she could make a clean break with you. Leave her alone. I know a woman who said "I don't want to mess up your marriage"... the man replied "you won't, trust me"... and then the wife found out how they truly felt about each other, and demanded no contact. And now, she is having a rough time believing that her husband, even two months after NC, doesn't think of this woman. Don't put your wife in the position my husband put me in. Let this woman go. Date your wife. Leave the "friend" alone.
It's impossible to imagine how your wife would feel if you've never been through that kind of betrayal. You say your wife is a wonderful person. You chose to commit your life to her. So why are you willing to betray her now?
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Married and have issues with female co-worker 
