COguy

Pain. Hurt. Betrayal.

No words.

For those that know my story the extravagant lengths to hide were going on.

She's meeting the "ONS" guy on friday at a hotel 4 hours away until Saturday afternoon. Not sure how long it's been going on, don't care anymore.

Someone please tell me it gets better. Please tell me I can get through this.

*needaunderstand*

are you planning on stay together or are you done? also it doesnt matter how long it has been happening, all that matters is that it did happen. you change the past. and yes it does get better. it can only hurt you if you let it. you just have to decide if it is worth fixing or is it done.

warlock07

So the posters were right. She was still in the affair. I read your older thread. No wonder she is putting you through hell. Stay strong brother.

How did you find it out? And is yours a no-fault state?

COguy

Fb messages, talked to my lawyer, he said chating won't change the arrangements

just struggling to deal with the pain right now.

Ano

Stop torturing yourself. Get out now. She clearly has been lying to you this whole time. She has no remorse...and apparently no intention to stop cheating.

chapparal

Let her know you know. Ask her how fast she can get out. 180. And total darkness.

chapparal

Oh and put the OM on cheaterville.com

COguy

It's my plan. Contact will be strictly kid business. Financial support will be 100 % limited to what is legally due.

Just struggling with the pain. Don't understand how she could do this again. Also, she lied during R about what happened that night.

Some ways i'm relieved because I know we are 100% done, but it still hurts. The gaslighting level was huge.

COguy

He's single. Part wants to inform his unit, he's navy, but the other part thinks I just need to let it go, get my mind off it and just move on.

chapparal

I don't like that at all. He is a man with rules and responsibilities. Let him carry on his shoulders his own load. Do not let him just be the weasal that broke up your family, try to make fool of you and laugh and joke about you behind your back. Give him the incentive to straighten up.

Stand up for your family. The pain will go away but you will always remember what you should have done.

arbitrator

Time to get out, COguy. You've extended far too much hope toward what seems just a marriage that is richly based on deception and smoke and mirrors!

You deserve so much more out of life. Let her know that you know, then file your paperwork pronto! But most importantly, just keep your head up!

__________________
"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

warlock07

So you found out more about what happened that night? I always had a feeling that you were having false R from your post.

And I agree with mori. Expose that weasel. If nothing, it will be a good incentive for him to change.

Halien

Also, let her family know. They seem to be the only ones who she listens to and respects. If I remember her background correctly, her parents will take an active role in this behavior. At the least, they will urge her to let you get through the divorce without turning it into a war.

A Bit Much

I agree with this.

I'm so sorry things have turned out this way for you COguy. Her behavior has pointed to this all along... that anger with you, that defensiveness... it totally makes sense.

You make her feel like sh*t, and she should. She's a liar. A very calculating, manipulative and sad individual. You deserve a hell of a lot more than what she's put you through.

Jellybeans

Sorry for your pain. It's better that you found out so now you know where her head is it--it will make moving on more real/and slightly easier. Yes, it still hurts but with the truth now, you can start to realize it's truly done and she is not the person you married/were in love with anymore.

Keep your head up. It gets better. Promise.