what should i do?

sinnister · 06-12-2012, 07:15 AM

Good luck with the new arrangement.

I"ll leave you with a football analogy. What makes a player great is not how he reacts when things are going well, the greatness comes from how he reacts when everything is going wrong.

Even if things at work are stressfull, or there are other things on his mind, I believe what makes a man is the ability to put that aside, suck it up and be a good husband and father.

WillK · 06-12-2012, 07:45 AM

Hmm... Well, sounds like it sucks.

My first guess at trying to fit it into an MMSL framework was does this guy have beta behavior deficiency? Is he just not a nice enough guy to provide a secure future with you?

I thought further and wondered, is this guy having some sort of insecurities?

Talking about feelings done in certain ways can come across as accusatory or critical. If you invite him to share his feelings, how have you responded when he's accepted the invitation?

You mention getting into arguements. Have you retorted when maybe you should've listenned? Has he done this?

Your plan to give eachother space for a week.. What is the goal?

Drover · 06-12-2012, 01:58 PM

I saw in another thread that you're bipolar? I've talked to a lot of bipolar people who say their significant others act very controlling. It's often because they are afraid of what you'll do if they're not keeping an eye on you. It's a struggle for those of us with bipolar family members so keep it in mind. But my wife who is bipolar is also overly-sensitive to being treated in a controlling manner so make sure you're not doing that as well.

Also, I don't know your relationship or what it has been like, but is it possible he's trying to do a 180 on you?

*needaunderstand* · 06-12-2012, 07:29 PM

i know being bipolar can make things harder in a relationship, but i dont react the way i used to. all my dislike for him has made me able to not react because i dont have any real personal feelings anymore. i ask his feelings and i tell him that he doesnt need to worrie that i will not judge him. i even start by telling him how i feel so that he may be more comfortable with talking. it has been a total of 24 hours since our talk to be distant, funny thing is it seems to all be the same. i never relized that we dont really care what each other does as long as im at home. i dint really care what he does if it doesnt affect me in a bad way like, not helping with daughter, cheating etc. and he doesnt seem to care what i do as long as im home. not sure this is a very good relationship. starting to think he just feels stuck. not sure, but this isnt looking long term anymore.

*needaunderstand* · 06-12-2012, 07:30 PM

also im still hoping that he might come to the relization that i have and might decide to change for the better, or at least decide what should be done next.