iheartlife

My heart just sank. I am so, so, so sorry.

You are NOT alone. Have you read any threads in the coping with infidelity forum? Your situation is the norm; your previous situation (her separating but not seeing the OM) was so odd, it seemed nearly impossible, which is partly why I fell silent. But I've been reading and hoping for the best. I am so sorry!
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iheartlife

Yes. They need to know the truth.
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WillK

Just went and looked to see what else you've been up to.. For those that haven't, just this morning Fuserleer started another thread on the depression forums looking for advice from other people to help out his wayward wife. And in that thread he still believed the EA was over for 3 weeks and it was only a kiss.

Man, print every page of everything you've discussed here. You've got a solid documentation of the timeline of every word of deception.

__________________
The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html

jameskimp

You were a doormat throughout this whole situation. You should've dumped her so long ago.

Plenty of girls out there and you're codependent and afraid to move on. In my opinion she's probably going to be with this guy and leave you showing no emotion. Her "mental issues" and depression is cause she couldnt see this guy (but I guess that NC has been untrue all along?).

Mental issues are a real thing but i've seen people use it wayyyy too much to justify their behaviors/their cheating spouses. She isnt retarded.

But you would be the most foolish man on the planet if you stay after this. She took you for such a ride and then she rode the other guy.

iheartlife

Fuse is actually a level-headed guy who doesn't deserve bashing. He continued to express skepticism and to verify. He caught her himself, no one had to enlighten him. Yes, he believed her when many didn't, but he didn't keep his head in the sand. He deserves support.
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Shaggy

Step 1- cut off all money going from you to her.
Step 2- secure joint bamk accounts and credit
Step 3- expose the emails to everyone
Step 4- go dark on her completely
Step 5- only talk to her through your lawyer

She's played you big time, made you wait and jump through hoops while she lies right to your face. Let the world know about her false depression her false issues. All you are dealing with in reality is just another remoresless cheat.
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NewM

Yeah do not talk to her anymore,not even to tell her what a **** she is or whatever you want to say to her,just send her divorce papers.

Do not even give her explanation why you are divorcing,you can give it after divorce,stop all contact with her.

fuserleer

I found the emails because I was cleaning up a server and they were buried in there in her sent items.

The emails were from just over 2 weeks ago, but at that point she had told me previous that she had stopped seeing him a few days before. Turns out it got physical when she was STILL with me....I remember the day too.

We went to have sex, and there was bits of tissue in and around her "area", I got some off and goes "whats this??" she got VERY defensive and accused me of thinking she had slept with him....turns out she had.

Now whats interesting is, that I don't know if this is actually going on now, there was an email in there from complaining that he didnt want to see her anymore because she was spending the odd day with me. Now over the past week or so, I have spent time with her nearly every day, sometimes all day! That can't of made him happy, so there is of course a chance that its now over, and thats why I get all this time with her.

Of course that doesnt matter, she's WAY overstepped the boundary, and shes going to find out just how hard life is gunna be. If she thinks we had it tough this past 18 months, shes got some serious wake up call coming.

Shaggy

When you see her and she starts up with the victim card and the poor me stuff, remember the lies she was able to tell. Yuck, unprotected sex with him them you the same night. That's nasty. And she didn't even feel guilt.
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warlock07

Horrible. Atleast stick to your guts this time. Last time you did a 180 once she started crying. And don't believe a word she says. I was warning you all this time. Good luck man

warlock07

I'm guessing she will play the suicide card once again. And your liar detection skills don't work with this woman.

warlock07

I made this quote some time back. Either she likes to be treated like sh!t(he asked her to f*ck off, right?) or it was just one big drama both of them acted out to make a fool out of you.


Inform her friend too.

Shaggy

Oh, and stop paying for MC since MC with an active cheater is just wasted money.
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warlock07

If you haven't confronted her yet, talk to her one more time about this guy. Any remaining feelings that you have will be dead once you see her lying to your face again. Once this is done, FB this guy that he can have her.

And ask mods to move this CWI section or make a new post there.

fuserleer

thanks for the advice and kind words. Even though I knew deep down something wasnt right, the fact I've now see it for my own eyes has devastated me.

All I wanted was to make her happy, maybe I did it in the wrong way sure, but I don't deserve this at all. I was 110% loyal to her from day one, in everyway possible and she didnt appreciated a damn crumb of it otherwise she wouldnt of done this, I don't care how ill she might be.

Ultimatley, I have a lot to offer, not talking money or lifestyle here, but in me, and I'm sure I'll fill her shoes with a better, more loyal, loving and caring partner in time.

For now I've got a lot of mess to clean up, she doesn't realise the mess that's coming her way yet obviously, but its coming.

Now, I need to get the divorce proceedings in order, sell this house (I can't stay here), and have me some fun for a change instead of spending every waking moment trying to please someone else in vain.