General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I just noticed that my wife has been texing a co-worker, and they have been calling each other, too. I realized this after she was acting strange the other night, like constantly checking her phone. Come to find out, she had been texting this guy while we were out with friends. I monitored this over the next few days, and there was more texting. She would text stuff to him stuff like, Call me tomorrow if you get bored. I didn't see you much today. I will call you after I leave the gym. They called each other a lot the other day, too. She called him as soon as she left for work yesterday. I looked at her call history. Of course, she talks about him a lot and she always talks about how much they are alike. Our sex life is very bad right now...maybe 3 times a month if I'm lucky. Am I overreacting, or is this the start of an affair? He is married with kids. What do you guys think?
definately not over-reacting.
definately an affair.
if your sex life has gone down alot, id say sex has started with him, unless she gearing herself up to do to it.
either way if you want to sort it out.
dont bite the bullet, nip it in the bud now with her or if you leave it, there might be more to come.
Thanks for the replies. I have met him a few times. I counted 15 calls between the 2 of them the other day. They call each other BFF when they text. If physical hasn't happened, it is definately an emoitional affair.
well I must say, I am a real flirty guy natural, I flirt with everyone shape or size, just the way I am. So I have a LOT of female friends, that are just that, but I can honestly I never talked to any of my female friends 15 times in one day.
maybe he is secrectly gay or something like that and talking about shoes?
She does say that he is like a girlfriend to her, but he is married. He's not gay! "Oh, were just good friends." Isn't that the excuse all men and women use when they are involved with or interested someone else?
She does say that he is like a girlfriend to her, but he is married. He's not gay! "Oh, were just good friends." Isn't that the excuse all men and women use when they are involved with or interested someone else?
no, sometimes they're just good friends. but it's amazing how quickly these dudes become "good friends" with ladies who arent getting their needs met. and i don't mean physical needs.
I mean I had some of my female friends say some real interesting things to me...and I would be like oh snap.
i've had some hubby's get Jealous, but I always took it upon myself to meet the guy and become friends with him as well to make sure he knew it was just a friendship and nothing more.
I have a rule, if I can't have a beer with the hubby, I can't be friends with the married female. My wife is not a very social person so she knows not to get jealous, plus I usually tell her everything that goes on.
Like, "hey Honey Laura told me she loves to do (insert any word) " bottom line is I hide nothing from my wife.
Talk to your wife and the guy, If nothing is going on, then ther should be no problem with your involvement. But explain to your wife you're not trying to be buddy buddy with the guy, but comfortable in your relationship.
She just may like the fact you are getting jealous.
Whoa, all that texting and calling sounds really shady. What do you possibly have to talk about outside of work with someone of the opposite sex? Not that there's anything wrong with being good friends with someone you work with, but c'mon.
The part you said about her constantly checking her phone while out with you and friends reminds me of the way a person would act when they have a crush on someone...that's how I was when my dh and I were dating...constantly checking phone with anticipation to see if he had called.
I hope I'm really wrong for your sake, but you are not over-reacting at all. I would definitely confront her about it ASAP.
I recommend eblaster. Load it on her computer so you will know if she is cheating. Just promise yourself no matter what you will delete it after 2 weeks. You just need to know.
Man, im sorry for what you are dealing with, it for sure sounds like an EA if not phsycal. You need to take hold of the situation as soon as you can...If it's an EA it will hurt, but the pain from a physical is devastating...Is she hiding the txt and calls from you....Listen to your gut...If she is hiding it then there is more to it....
I really appreciate all of the responses. I just found out there were 125 text between them from early March until early April. I agree with all of you. It seems to be an EA right now with all of the flirty text. It does seem she has a crush on him. It's time to put an end to it. Thanks again.
Texting Wife 
