fitman

Ok, need some advice/comments on a certain dream that seems to repeat itself. I ahev had this same type of dream for about a year now, sometimes it takes a few weeks in break, but almost 2-4 times a week.

Basically my wife is either leaving me or cheating on me. One time she moved out and I was at her new place asking her to come back, and she tells me she will let me know. Another one we had dinner at a hotel with a guy (didnt know who he was) and I went back to our room, she comes up a few hours later and turns our she slept with him. Kind of always on the same theme of being left or being left and cheated on. There have been may versions of it, but never really get a clear vision of the details, just wake up knowing the basics.

Now, I did mention once a while back about the dream to my wife, but never told it it has been repeating so long and so many times.

Should I tell my wife about the dreams or will that cause bigger issues betwen us and she will see me as insecure. I dont get jelous or insecure, almost 99.99% sure she has never cheated but who is ever really 100% sure right?

Any comments? These dreams are tough when I wake up, makes me feel pretty bad all day and sometimes a bit distant with my wife for a few hours after we wake.

lamaga

I think you should tell her, especially if it's making you distant sometimes. She can no doubt detect that, and has no idea what it's about.

Jellybeans

If it's weighing on your mind, talk to her about it.

How are things in your relationship? Do you not trust her? Is something off? Do you feel insecure? Sometimes we dream our feelings.

fitman

I have some resentment towards here in regards to lack of passion in our marriage. Passion not menaing sex, but I think I feel like we are room mates and not husband and wife.

I think she senses something is wrong. I just tell her nothing and remain pretty quite about anything. SHe isnt the best person to discus anything with, simply starts arguing and NOT talking. It sint real productive.

I simply hate having these dreams, it drives me nuts this feeling every day. I am not real jelous or insecure. I could go on fine (would be hard at first) but I would survive if she left so I dont get this feeling I get from these dreams.

accept

No dont tell her that would make matters worse. One normally dreams what thinks of by day. You write you cant be 100% certain.
I dont think you should make an issue of it. Best really always to forget dreams.
Has she always been like this i.e. not the best person to talk to. Saying you would survive if she left is rather telling.
No you somehow I know its hard, not to take notice of these dreams. Remember dreams are not real but what you want them to be.

Dr. Rockstar

To paraphrase the immortal philosopher, Ray Romano, "You're upset... at something I did... in YOUR dream?"

It's hard to deal with dreams unless you A) Confront them head on by talking to somebody about them, or B) realize that they are just dreams and not necessarily indicative of anything in the waking world.

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livelaughlovenow

Reoccurring dreams are often a sign of anxiety and usually the dream is a portrayal of what bothers us subconsciously... it seems underneath you have some sort of suspicions about your wife and are pushing them aside and they are coming out in your dreams.... I would bring it up, casually, ask her has she ever had a dream happen more than once. Ask her what it was, you don't need to tell her the content of the dream exactly but you could say you have a dream where you can clearly tell you two are separated.... and then tell her maybe it is because you feel distance in the relationship and the ways you would like to get back to where you were before. I think it is important to get close again. If you feel like roomates it is only a matter of time before one of you does seek friendship somewhere else.... which is probably why you are having these dreams to begin with. Research the meaning of your dream. You'll see what I am talking about. Then research the meaning of reoccurring dreams... it's usually the brain making pictures of deep fears we are choosing to ignore while awake.

eowyn

Most likely looks like you might be subconsciously worried about these things due to something going on in your marriage that seems to manifest itself as recurring dreams? or .. some kind of an ESP (extra sensory perception) However ESP would be a rare scenario. Very few people seem to have those abilities. Have you had a series of other recurring dreams in the past that might or might not have transformed into reality?

How about meditating for 5mins before you go to sleep? That might help reduce these dreams. I don't think it is a good idea to tell her about your dreams. However it wld be a good idea to constructively work out issues in your marriage so that the dreams stop (if that is the underlying cause)

The only thing regarding telling your wife.. you mention you distance yourself from her after you get these dreams. This can cause issues since there is no way she would be able to figure this out and also not fair to her. Try to take the dreams lightly and let it not have an impact on your routine and reality.

DayDream

I get the same thing with my husband. I'm always having dreams of him cheating or leaving, and when they are the ones of him leaving I'm always trying to reach him and can't and the whole dream goes that way. Plus in these dreams he is always cold and distant.

I feel like it is my own internal fears manifesting themselves through my dreams. I told him about them and about how they make me feel throughout the rest of the day and now when I'm down or something he kind of jokes and says, "Did you have another dream or something?" I realize it is something I have to deal with myself, it is my own mind doing it, so I try not to be mad at him when I have these dreams, but sometimes I do wonder if he did a better job of making me feel important and loved in real life, if these dreams would still exist.

WadeWilson

Dreams are what they are to the beholder... Religion and science tell you different things about what dreams are... If you believe there are importance in a dream, by all means get to the bottom of it... I say, discuss it with your spouse, get their perspective... You may find yourself worrying less...

I seen my 3rd grade teacher die at a school function in my dream, 2 years later, she died at a school picnic at 36yo...
I saw my neighborhood completely abandoned in a dream, one year later a private organization bought it and tore it down two years later after that...
So I believe dreams do have a little more significance than what we give them....

Dreams of affairs, divorce, etc can be common in most, sometimes it's just showing us a fear of someone we love, doing or behaving unloving...
I too, have had those dreams, but of I have one that deeply bother me, we talk about it, now at these points we've had underlying problems, some known, some unknown... Even when some of these dreams happened, my wife told me sometime later that she considered maybe it was over.... Sometimes, she was experiencing the same type of dreams....
But you may never know the importance it may hold, if you don't talk about it...

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