How do I get more attention from my husband?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »General Relationship Discussion » How do I get more attention from my husband?

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Like Tree28Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-12-2012, 02:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 18
Default How do I get more attention from my husband?

How can I get my husband to give me some attention? I feel so lonely anymore. He's a workaholic and when he comes home, the only physical attention I get is a hug/kiss, and then another before I go to bed. He eats his dinner, and watches tv until he falls asleep.

I love my husband so much, and I miss him, even though he's still here. He doesn't take me seriously when I say I'd like some attention. I get it that he wants to come home, relax a little with the tv. He works hard and deserves some R & R. But he usually falls asleep in front of the tv and rarely comes to bed with me. When he does and wants sex, that's the ONLY time I get any attention. So, I often refuse, and tell him why. I always get the "I'm giving you attention right now" excuse.

Thoughts? Ideas?
fascination is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-12-2012, 02:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
lamaga's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 2,423
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

More sex. More blowjobs.

Sorry to be blunt, but that'll work.
lamaga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,682
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Go out to eat together a few times a month.

Cuddle with him on the couch.

Initiate hugs and kisses, don't just wait for him to dole them out to you.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 18
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

The times that I intiate sex, I'm often shot down b/c something good is on tv. It's like he only wants sex when it's his own terms/timetable.
fascination is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 18
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Bit Much View Post
Go out to eat together a few times a month.

Cuddle with him on the couch.

Initiate hugs and kisses, don't just wait for him to dole them out to you.
THIS is what I want and don't get. We never go out, he won't cuddle with me, etc.
fascination is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Toffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,784
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamaga View Post
more sex. More blowjobs.

Sorry to be blunt, but that'll work.
hell ya!
Toffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:45 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,682
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fascination View Post
The times that I intiate sex, I'm often shot down b/c something good is on tv. It's like he only wants sex when it's his own terms/timetable.
Which is why you should be going out more.

Do you have a life outside of your husband? What do you do when he's not there?

I think that he's bored.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
thunderstruck's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,362
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fascination View Post
The times that I intiate sx, I'm often shot down b/c something good is on tv.
That's a BS excuse. When my W tries that with me, I offer to tape whatever she's watching, or do her on the sofa in front of the TV. She always goes for the tape option.
thunderstruck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:46 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Toffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,784
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

fascination,

Building on lamaga's suggestion, why don't you try waking him up on the couch with a little oral?

Guys get emotionally connected through sex. If tou want any chance of him responding the way you want, sex him up and then talk about what you want/need. You'll have a better chance of getting it!
Toffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
LovesHerMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,337
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Plan things to do together on the weekends.

What is your husband's love language? Do you make him feel loved in a way that he can appreciate?

Is he spending so much time working because you have too much debt? If so, think of ways that you can cut down on spending to reduce your debt.
LovesHerMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:47 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
lamaga's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 2,423
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Fascination, we obviously know nothing about your life. But I'm still wondering about the sex thing. You say he turns you down when you initiate. How often do you turn him down? Because it sounds to me like you are rejecting sex quite a a bit and he's rejecting you out of spite. Is that possible?

And if not, pardon me. Speculation is kind of the lifeblood of these kinds of boards, but we all make mistakes.
lamaga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,682
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fascination View Post
THIS is what I want and don't get. We never go out, he won't cuddle with me, etc.
Do you cook all the meals? If so, stop.

I would stop being so available to him. He can't hurt you if you aren't there. What would he do if he came home and turned on the tv and you left? I'd find out.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 18
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Bit Much View Post
Which is why you should be going out more.

Do you have a life outside of your husband? What do you do when he's not there?

I think that he's bored.
Yes, I have a life outside of my husband. I work, have 2 kids, many hobbies, and a house to take care of. If he's bored, then why doesn't he ever want to go out?

This is exactly what I'm asking...to go out, to have an actual relationship. I AM BORED.
fascination is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:51 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,682
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fascination View Post
Yes, I have a life outside of my husband. I work, have 2 kids, many hobbies, and a house to take care of. If he's bored, then why doesn't he ever want to go out?

This is exactly what I'm asking...to go out, to have an actual relationship. I AM BORED.
If he's a workaholic, he's not married to you, he's married to his job.

Not much you can do about that other than protest. You can only change yourself though... through changing yourself, you can possibly change him. There are no guarantees.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 02:53 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Seesaw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK - England
Posts: 212
Default Re: How do I get more attention from my husband?

I was your husband and my wife eventually chose an EA! You have to get through to him. Get some counselling for yourself and with him if he will. Sit him down and tell him you are serious. Please do not let him carry on like this. He will thank you in the end. Be strong yourself and just keep at it in the nicest way you can. Give him affection, love, sex, etc, but stand up for what you need. As well, you need your own life. If he sees you successful, happy, making the most of those evenings he is in front of the TV, he will soon notice. Sign up for classes, go out with friends (make sure you include him in the invitation). Good luck.
Posted via Mobile Device
Seesaw is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Attention! Gaia The Social Spot 1 09-26-2012 02:55 PM
Attention ***** angelfire Coping with Infidelity 42 06-21-2012 02:39 AM
what do u do when your husband pays no attention to you pastpresentfuture Self-Help Marriage & Relationship Programs 2 02-08-2012 01:13 PM
how do I tell my husband Im lonely and need his attention without........ tdtanner General Relationship Discussion 21 01-23-2009 09:12 AM
Husband doesn't show me attention but openly flirts with other women chris1130 The Ladies' Lounge 5 07-31-2008 07:51 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:44 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage