General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
How can I get my husband to give me some attention? I feel so lonely anymore. He's a workaholic and when he comes home, the only physical attention I get is a hug/kiss, and then another before I go to bed. He eats his dinner, and watches tv until he falls asleep.
I love my husband so much, and I miss him, even though he's still here. He doesn't take me seriously when I say I'd like some attention. I get it that he wants to come home, relax a little with the tv. He works hard and deserves some R & R. But he usually falls asleep in front of the tv and rarely comes to bed with me. When he does and wants sex, that's the ONLY time I get any attention. So, I often refuse, and tell him why. I always get the "I'm giving you attention right now" excuse.
The times that I intiate sx, I'm often shot down b/c something good is on tv.
That's a BS excuse. When my W tries that with me, I offer to tape whatever she's watching, or do her on the sofa in front of the TV. She always goes for the tape option.
Building on lamaga's suggestion, why don't you try waking him up on the couch with a little oral?
Guys get emotionally connected through sex. If tou want any chance of him responding the way you want, sex him up and then talk about what you want/need. You'll have a better chance of getting it!
Fascination, we obviously know nothing about your life. But I'm still wondering about the sex thing. You say he turns you down when you initiate. How often do you turn him down? Because it sounds to me like you are rejecting sex quite a a bit and he's rejecting you out of spite. Is that possible?
And if not, pardon me. Speculation is kind of the lifeblood of these kinds of boards, but we all make mistakes.
THIS is what I want and don't get. We never go out, he won't cuddle with me, etc.
Do you cook all the meals? If so, stop.
I would stop being so available to him. He can't hurt you if you aren't there. What would he do if he came home and turned on the tv and you left? I'd find out.
Do you have a life outside of your husband? What do you do when he's not there?
I think that he's bored.
Yes, I have a life outside of my husband. I work, have 2 kids, many hobbies, and a house to take care of. If he's bored, then why doesn't he ever want to go out?
This is exactly what I'm asking...to go out, to have an actual relationship. I AM BORED.
Yes, I have a life outside of my husband. I work, have 2 kids, many hobbies, and a house to take care of. If he's bored, then why doesn't he ever want to go out?
This is exactly what I'm asking...to go out, to have an actual relationship. I AM BORED.
If he's a workaholic, he's not married to you, he's married to his job.
Not much you can do about that other than protest. You can only change yourself though... through changing yourself, you can possibly change him. There are no guarantees.
I was your husband and my wife eventually chose an EA! You have to get through to him. Get some counselling for yourself and with him if he will. Sit him down and tell him you are serious. Please do not let him carry on like this. He will thank you in the end. Be strong yourself and just keep at it in the nicest way you can. Give him affection, love, sex, etc, but stand up for what you need. As well, you need your own life. If he sees you successful, happy, making the most of those evenings he is in front of the TV, he will soon notice. Sign up for classes, go out with friends (make sure you include him in the invitation). Good luck. Posted via Mobile Device
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How do I get more attention from my husband? 
