Originally Posted by Entropy3000

I know this would normally go into the Dealing with Grief and Loss area but I feel the need to post it here.

My mom was hospitlaized for some issues Friday. I spent much of the weekend there. She was not in ICU however. In fact when I called at 1 am this morning they said she was doing ok. We were concerned but caustiuosly optimistic.

But I got a call at 5:25 am to quickly come to the hospital. I was by her side until about 11 am when she passed. She had a DNR so we respected this. Since I had medical power of attorney they did ask me if I wanted to override that. She has been through much so I kept my word to her. But it was still not easy to let her go. She was very Catholic so I made sure a priest was present for her last rights. She was 84 years old. I get my engineering know how from my father who passed in 2004 but I get my compassion from my mother.

So I am going through some real closure now. The reason I wanted to post this here was to make note of how supportive my wife has been over the years for my mother. For a period before my mom had to go to a nursing home my wife nursed her in our home. This was my wifes idea. I decided however that this was too much on my wife and us frankly. She never complained though. But I decided it was time for a nursing home. As it turns out they gave her nothing but excellent care and my mom made friends there as well. That said my wife made sure of this. She took this on and made sure she was involved in every part of what was going on. This allowed me to focus more on my other responsibilities. My wife was able to visit there more often than I could. She was always making sure she had everything she needed and always kept her room decorated. My wife just being that loving woman that she can be.

Before that she was a big part of my mom living on her own. Just a wonderful daughter in law and also friend to my mom. And yes she did this in pure unselfish love for my mom but ultimately just another way to express her love for me also. So today was a great loss for her as well.

My wife is still away visiting her mom out of state.
She will be back on Saturday. I told her to finish her stay with her mom and that I was ok. This came on so suddenly that I was by myself today.
My wife and I are very protective of each other. We value being there for one another but we also have significant independent spirits. In this case my wife felt she needed to be here for me during this of course. I told her that would have been good, but I also needed to face this myself. I needed to be there for my mom this one last time.

My sister would not have been able to make it here in time either. My daughter was devastated when I told her. Perhaps the hardest part of all.

So the women in my life. My mom now passes to be with her two sisters. My aunts were awesome people. My sister. My wife. My daughter. My step daughter I have not been able to reach yet. A compelling story there. All of these women have a place in my heart forever.

There was a time when I was ready to change my life style. While I am not religious I did pray that I would find a woman such as my wife. I am truly blessed. I am thankful for this pure and unselfish love she has shown for my mother.

Godspeed mom. I love you.