General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Well I need some advice. My wife and I talked this morning about a bunch of things. she told me that she doesn't think that I trust her at all with the men at work, because I keep mentioning that she might be cheating on me. She asked me if there is anything that she can do to convince me that she is not. I have been trying to follow the love dare book ,and now she says she feels over welmed and that she needs some space. Not like space space lol. We have spent the last eight days of my days off together and she feels over whelmed at times. I dont know Im so lost. Ive brought her flowers to work, brought lunch to her last week. She says she really appreciative of what iv been doing. laundry cooking dinner ect. help lol
We had a major fight in january and it almost ended it. Major insecurities. I was told to take prozac by my dr last week for axiety and depression which I have never had to deal with.
I brought her flowers Tuesday, and she brought them home and said it made her co worker sneeze so I brought her a dozen roses the next day which she said she loves and left at work. She told me that Ive been doing so many nice things that its over whelming and she's not use to it. And plus she said that she feels guilty because she I dont give her the time to do something nice for me
So slow down the romantic things you are doing. What is more important than flowers and other gifts is listening to what she is acutally telling you.
If she says that it is over whelming then believe her. And if she says she wants time to do something nice for you... give her that time.
You got her attention... now slow down. So this at a pace that you can keep up... maybe once a month would be good? Small things sometimes and once or twice a year something big like flowers at work?
I totally agree with you. Tonight for instance I asked if she would like a foot rub, ans she said no not right now. Later I went upstairs to put on my pj's and brought down some lotion to rub her feet. I asked again and she kinda hesitated I got the hint to over whelmed. Maybe Ive been to clingy, last few weeks have been really hard mentally for me. Scared she might find someone else or is with someone at work.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but sounds like you could use some work within yourself and self esteem? She wouldn't feel overwhelmed if you demonstrated confidence to her and trust that she will take it upon herself to keep her relationships with coworkers approp. If she asked what she can do to convince you, as a woman, that sounds pretty genuine from my view that she's not cheating.
Its great that you're a doting man, that's so sweet. But too much can be unattractive, unfortunately. Scale it back some and use that time for you. I know it sounds hard and may feel a lil cold of you, but back off a while and keep your mind busy during. Chances are she will start missing your doting behavior and may start trying to court you for a change. Posted via Mobile Device
My wife and I have been together for 8yrs and have two kids. So its has had it share of ups and downs. The last week or so it's been pretty crazy in my brain. Thinking about her cheating or at least liking someone.
Normally I hangout and talk to her while shes getting ready for work kiss her and say I love you., but this morning I was feeling the vibe. It seemed like she wanted her distance, or not the not connecting feeling because she just got up. So I said F-it. lol. I walked in brushed my teeth, turn around kissed her, said good morning and left. Didn't say I love you like I usually do. I do need to work on my self esteem.
My wife and I have been together for 8yrs and have two kids. So its has had it share of ups and downs. The last week or so it's been pretty crazy in my brain. Thinking about her cheating or at least liking someone.
Normally I hangout and talk to her while shes getting ready for work kiss her and say I love you., but this morning I was feeling the vibe. It seemed like she wanted her distance, or not the not connecting feeling because she just got up. So I said F-it. lol. I walked in brushed my teeth, turn around kissed her, said good morning and left. Didn't say I love you like I usually do. I do need to work on my self esteem.
Crap LTF are you sure you are not married to my wife? I have come to the conclusion she is not cheating but that she likes me as a good friend that will give her sex when she feels she needs it.
I keep mentioning that she might be cheating on me.
I have been trying to follow the love dare book ,and now she says she feels over welmed and that she needs some space
I dont know Im so lost. Ive brought her flowers to work, brought lunch to her last week. She says she really appreciative of what iv been doing. laundry cooking dinner ect. help lol
Not real sure how talking about her possible cheating fits in with the love dare book. Otherwise, I can see where she might feel overwhelmed. I think the book also recommends considerable quite time for yourself. This should help
My wife and I have been together for 8yrs and have two kids. So its has had it share of ups and downs. The last week or so it's been pretty crazy in my brain. Thinking about her cheating or at least liking someone.
Normally I hangout and talk to her while shes getting ready for work kiss her and say I love you., but this morning I was feeling the vibe. It seemed like she wanted her distance, or not the not connecting feeling because she just got up. So I said F-it. lol. I walked in brushed my teeth, turn around kissed her, said good morning and left. Didn't say I love you like I usually do. I do need to work on my self esteem.
****That's good because you still showed that you care, but it wasn't over-the-top. My own husband pretty much took the back seat in our 7 year marriage and after a while, it made me feel like I didn't matter. I felt like I was always waiting to get some love in return love games don't stop with come couples I think, even after you're married. As for sex? My husband was the prude..acted like he could take or leave sex and like he didn't really need affection. as soon as I separated from him, all of a sudden he needed more affection and was trying to nail me more LOL!! It just kinda pissed me off but at least things were starting to go the way I had been starving for so I didn't get too mad about that factor. Feeling unloved sucks either way and its going to continue to damage your self esteem. Its vital you focus on you and be a little selfish in positive, healthy ways. She will notice. My husband started going out with his friends more, to the gym, getting tan, reading some self help books and taking charge around the house more - definately got a response out of me and made me chase him again after I was being distant and wanting space. Posted via Mobile Device
****That's good because you still showed that you care, but it wasn't over-the-top. My own husband pretty much took the back seat in our 7 year marriage and after a while, it made me feel like I didn't matter. I felt like I was always waiting to get some love in return love games don't stop with come couples I think, even after you're married. As for sex? My husband was the prude..acted like he could take or leave sex and like he didn't really need affection. as soon as I separated from him, all of a sudden he needed more affection and was trying to nail me more LOL!! It just kinda pissed me off but at least things were starting to go the way I had been starving for so I didn't get too mad about that factor. Feeling unloved sucks either way and its going to continue to damage your self esteem. Its vital you focus on you and be a little selfish in positive, healthy ways. She will notice. My husband started going out with his friends more, to the gym, getting tan, reading some self help books and taking charge around the house more - definately got a response out of me and made me chase him again after I was being distant and wanting space. Posted via Mobile Device
That actually sound like me. Since my wife stated work in February, Ive been trying to help out alot more especially with laundry, cleaning and cooking. Trying to be less grumpy. The sex part she said she's not use to me being such a horn dog latlet and shes not use to it. Not to give up to much info but Saturday night was the last time we did it. Tuesday night she was up until 2 am so she went to bed early yesterday. Plus a grumpy baby doesn't really set the mood for a romantic night. Ill just try to communicate less during the day when shes at work.
My life gets pretty stressful. I have a 2 y/o I take care of everyday. Then works night. So I get a litte run down. But the days I have off it seems i need to still take care of him in way, because my wife is stress over work.
when my wife was pregnant she took off her wedding band now we cant find it. Possible stolen by a family member. Yesterday she showed me a ring on qvc that she liked. She said she was going to buy today because today was payday. I told her I would take care of it. Was that the right move? Financially we cant replace the wedding ring we both know that.
Ok. I will parrot what has been already said. You need to look at yourself and work on you. So far, I've not read anything that suggests your wife is doing anything that suggests an affair. Stop acting so needy. You will definitely drive her away with that non-sense. I think " No More Mr. Nice Guy" is a book you should read right away. Develop some interests outside of your wife. Work out. Develop some friendships. These activities will make you more attractive and also help with your anxiety and self esteem.
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Im lost.. need some help 
love games don't stop with come couples I think, even after you're married. As for sex? My husband was the prude..acted like he could take or leave sex and like he didn't really need affection. as soon as I separated from him, all of a sudden he needed more affection and was trying to nail me more LOL!! It just kinda pissed me off but at least things were starting to go the way I had been starving for so I didn't get too mad about that factor. Feeling unloved sucks either way and its going to continue to damage your self esteem. Its vital you focus on you and be a little selfish in positive, healthy ways. She will notice. My husband started going out with his friends more, to the gym, getting tan, reading some self help books and taking charge around the house more - definately got a response out of me and made me chase him again after I was being distant and wanting space.
