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General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

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Old 06-14-2012, 02:11 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamaga View Post
No, Stranger, you don't see it at all. Wow, you didn't even really pick a post that agreed with your statement.

Well, it's a drive-by, amigos. What can you do?
Do you think that sometimes cheating is justified? That is the message I get from much of your advice to people who are betrayed by their spouses.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:13 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Here's the truth, women get bored and want something new, they are more deviant and coniving then men and they will say whatever it is that they need to say to hurt, cut down or hide the truth, so no matter what the true reason is, the ACTUAL reason is another man. thats it no ifs ands or buts!
Wow! Take a breath and count to ten! She's got you BSed. She's
turning it on you, and your swallowing.

If you want some views, stay around and read. Some posters are outlandish to shock you out of your fog. You will find a lot of experiences here, you won't get elsewhere.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:15 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Install a keylogger on her computer and read her emails/messages without confronting her right away. Report back here what you find.

Have you had sex with her after the seperation? If you did get tested for STDs.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:15 PM   #19 (permalink)
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No, Iheartlife, that is not what I said.

But I will continue to point out logical inconsistencies in posts until the mods tell me that I cannot.

This guy never dealt with his wife's unhappiness because he just knew, KNEW, that he was a great guy. Ergo, how could she be unhappy?

Sheeesh.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:17 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lamaga View Post
No, Iheartlife, that is not what I said.

But I will continue to point out logical inconsistencies in posts until the mods tell me that I cannot.

This guy never dealt with his wife's unhappiness because he just knew, KNEW, that he was a great guy. Ergo, how could she be unhappy?

Sheeesh.
Sounds like justification to me.

And I'm allowed to ask you questions until the mods tell me I cannot.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:17 PM   #21 (permalink)
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She was also in the fog of an affair, and she just knew he was a horrible husband.

A match made in heaven!
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:19 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Way to nitpick a statement to serve your agenda. I find your recent posts having a double standard when it comes to women infidelity lamaga.

This is the statement


Quote:
She wanted out and said i was a horrible husband, but that couldnt be true, i love her and our kids and i did anything to please her,
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:19 PM   #23 (permalink)
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She was also in the fog of an affair, and she just knew he was a horrible husband.

A match made in heaven!
My husband probably would (at one time) have said the same thing about me.

Funny thing, he decided to stay and reconcile with his "horrible" wife via marriage counseling. He's also in individual counseling to understand why he chose cheating--of all things--to solve his problems.

What a lot of judgment from a couple of sentences from the OP.

Last edited by iheartlife; 06-14-2012 at 02:29 PM. Reason: fixed grammar
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:20 PM   #24 (permalink)
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lamaga, so another OP comes here with a devastating life problem and you tell them it's their fault and, in the midst of infidelity, they should just apologize to their WS. Please!


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Old 06-14-2012, 02:22 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lamaga View Post
Acorn, the OP's post provides no evidence as to the assertions you have made.

I'm particularly intrigued by your repeated accusations that this woman (whom you have never met) is "foul-mouthed". I have reread The Stranger's post four times, and that's just not there.

I think you are projecting a little bit, don't you?

It's okay to be upset, but try not to take it out on, well, Strangers.
The irony of this post.

I think I will stop responding to lamaga posts.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:31 PM   #26 (permalink)
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I dunno, obviously lamaga discounted the cheating angle, but the rest of the advice was pretty solid if the assumption was he wanted to stay anyway. *shrug*
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:38 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I dunno, obviously lamaga discounted the cheating angle, but the rest of the advice was pretty solid if the assumption was he wanted to stay anyway. *shrug*
This is just one person's opinion--so I completely acknowledge I may be wrong.

But it seems to me that if the chosen target for a relationship outside the marriage is a relative stranger over the Internet, that speaks of someone who is very hungry for validation--and possibly someone with low self-esteem. My guess there is nothing more than armchair psychology and not worth the paper it's written on. But it is based on the many threads I've read where people seek strangers to cheat with.

I have little doubt that her "wants" weren't being met. The question is, how reasonable were these wants. Did they amount to core needs that the average married person would consider reasonable? We really don't know. We have a couple of sentences to go on. But the poor guy got slammed because HE admitted in his own words that his wife felt there were problems in the marriage.

How can anyone really be shocked that he's left the building after that?

Again, I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who will own up to 80% of the problems in our marriage that made it vulnerable to my husband's 100% choice to cheat. I'm not "it's never your fault" ra-ra-sis-boom-ba for betrayed spouses.

I think that's what is getting my goat. If I had come for advice here, I probably would be gone too. Instead I'm here to say that you can come back from something like this and have a marriage that's better than ever. It won't happen for everyone, but it is possible.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:45 PM   #28 (permalink)
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The irony of this post.

I think I will stop responding to lamaga posts.

+1

She has lost her credibility IMO. The irony of calling someone else illogical is amusing.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:49 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I don't know. I feel bad. She is one of the forum regulars and usually is spot on with many of her posts. But she seems to pissed with men these days. Maybe she wants to balance out CWI misogyny.
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Old 06-14-2012, 03:12 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Something has changed. She's had some great posts but in the last two days she's telling the guys its their fault that their women are in EA's or PA's. I understand her point to a degree but don't agree with her advice.
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