06-16-2012, 02:25 AM
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Houston, Texas
| | How to show support for spouse
When one spouse from time to time faces situations (not involving other spouse) where there is no clear solution or out at the moment, and there is significant stress, frustration and anger coming from the situation, (this is not having to do with drugs, alcholol, losing a job, committing a crime) regardless of specific details, the result is the spouse feels lots of stress and guilt.
It is clear that we cannot expect our spouses to solve our problems or situations. However, are not our spouses there for support even when there is no complete comprehensive understanding the reasons for the situation.
With this background, how does a spouse show, verbalize, express support for the other spouse?
1. Lecture (from a distance across the room from to the hurting spouse) about how not to get into this situation.
2. Ask questions WHY the spouse did this or that, and WHY didn't the spouse consider another choice.
3. Tell the spouse that they are always misunderstanding what others say and make more out of the situation than they should.
4. Sit closer to the hurting spouse so there can be some reinforced touching (not intimate or sexual touching) while talking about the matter.
5. Possibly even a hug or two when sensing the other spouse is really feeling the stress from the situation.
6. Possibly while giving a hug, express some gentle words like "I am trying to understand, these things happen, I don't have an answer, but together we'll get through it. I'm here right beside in in this"
This is a real life situation between two spouses and your responses will be appreciated.