crystall

Mr.Franklin!!, With all due respect,I couldn't resist not answering your post."I did a favor in marrying her"Is she handicapped ?Disgusting to look at?Another ****ty form of 'Male ego'.You say you remember all you vows??[GROOM], will you have this woman to be your wedded wife? To be your friend and companion? Will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, remain faithful in your love for her, so long as you both shall live?I promise never to forsake her, but to guide her and love her"I chose to ignore her?"That's a Bull$h!t cop-out answer. You can change, you just don't want to. If you don't love her anymore, that's one thing, but driving her away because "you can't change" is BS in my opinion.You married your wife because why....? Because you love her and you committed to being there for one another through the good and the bad. You need to turn to your wife for support and guidance. Its not about needing someone its about wanting to share your life with her-not for your mortagage and rents..she deserves much more than a person like you.
If this is what you are,with all due respect, then I don't think your wife doesn't know about it.Your' pride 'she must be knowing it all.Just like a man wants to play around with women,a women has an inner sense which tells her about men.You likely fooled her 'with all respect 'for 9 years and she probably left you for good.My gut tells me, you hurt her a lot and she probably deserves someone who loves her truly.Someone who can make her happy when shes angry.Every woman shall despice your attitude not your wife alone.Don't know where you guys get such thoughts from.Why cant you think if the advisor tolerates you to be happy with your wife ?Trust me ,Your wife is not coming back.I know from your posts here that you are an a-hole."With all due respect."

franklinfx

Wow is post is quite rude and uncalled for but Ill try to set the record straight since you seem to have read my post quite loosely. 1st when did I say Im doing my wife a favor by being married to her? Some other poster said she thinks I think that and you somehow quote me as saying that? All I said is I do alot of nice things for my wife and I try to keep myself in good shape and she seems to takes it for granted. 2nd Who are you to say I dont truly love my wife or what she deserves you dont know either of us. 3rd when did I say my wife left me? Shes on a trip that she planned for months and she left no evidence that she isnt coming back or leaving me any time soon .You obviously dont know what your talking about my wife and I actually have a decent marriage and I treat her very good ,my problem is that she doesnt appreciate it sometimes. You sound like a bitter woman w/ a chip on your shoulder and I have no doubt if I was a woman talking about my husband in the same exact way youd be right there in my corner so I hardly take you seriously.

crystall

As far as thinking Im doing my wife a favor by being married to her, Im sorry if thats the way Im coming off ,but whats wrong w/ wanting to be valued by your spouse? Ive gone out of my way to treat her right, all Im asking for is the same in return.
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crystall

crystall

STOP trying to put me in a corner and focus on your marriage bud!I am rude tough you sounded just like my old sick husband!!

Earthmother1970

If you love and care for her as much as you say,then stick your pride aside and make that phone call - just to say, Hi, that you hope her trip is going well, maybe that you miss her and are looking forward to seeing her when she gets home.
Maybe plan a nice evening out to celebrate her homehoming?

franklinfx

Crystal, I really cant quite make heads or tails of your posts ,or what your points actually are. All I can make of them is that you are a bitter old woman who is in ,or was in a bad marriage and like to troll around the web ,and spew hatred at others who rub you the wrong way. To all the other women who think Im an arrogant, demanding husband, be honest, if a woman came on here and said she felt neglected and unappreciated ,youd probably say "yeah your too good for him" or "you deserve better girlfriend" but since Im a man Im supposed to just be happy w/ whatever my wife does, bit of a double standard but typical of the way many woman, who have been programed by opra and the oxygen channel to have little regard for a mans feelings, but expect men to worship at their feet. If any of you knew me youd hardly consider me arrogant or conceited, I dont think Im a greek god that should be worshiped by my wife , but I do put alot of effort into my marriage , I do housework, I food shop, I fix anything in the house that breaks,I pay most of the bills and a ton of other nice gestures, and my wife ,and even her friends have acknowledge that, so thats not even a question, all Im saying is Im tired of giving alot a getting very little in return. Sorry if that makes me a bad guy to some of you ,but Ive been reading alot of other posts about spouses who cheat, some even unapologeticly,and some w/ prostitutes, men who treat their wives like slaves , give them STDs , addicted to drugs, porn, gambleing, witholding sex etc etc. so excuse me if I tend to think my wife's got it pretty good w/ me.

Earthmother I actually did call my wife last night but her phone is off and I dont think shes got service where she is ,cause her son said he cant reach her either. I did also plan a nice meal for easter sunday and I stocked the fridge and cabinets w/ all the stuff she likes, and the house will be clean when she gets home sat.( even bought her a chocolate easter bunny)but again ,its just more of me giving in and pandering to her. Can you blame me for feeling like a sap? Id like to see a little bending my way for a change.

TNgirl232

You sound like someone who wants their marriage to work...and unfortunately since you don't think your wife is doing that it HAS to start with you. It sounds like it might be time for an ultimatum - either she starts being actively involved in your marriage (including going to counseling with you) or there isn't a point in having a "marriage" anymore. And you have to mean it...you can't let her improve for a few weeks just to get you off her back and let her slip back in. I'm not saying be mean about it (which is where counseling will help - in communicating this).

I'm glad you swallowed some of that pride and called her .

itapora

Need an advice please!! My wife wants me to leave the house....I wouldn;t do it... Who has more rights?? what does the law says? What can she allegate before the justice?? Tks

TNgirl232

Who's name is on the lease/mortgage? If both then neither can be forced to leave unless someone is threatening harm - I think.

franklinfx

Wife finally called me back this afternoon, but I was too busy at work. and when I called her back her phone was breaking up so we didnt get to talk till about an hour ago ,it was weird talking to her for so long ,after barely speaking for almost two weeks .I actually felt like I did when we met, and she sounded pretty giggley too ,wow its been a while since I heard her talk that way to me. I know you all said not talking is bad but in this case I think it might have helped a little. Anyway I told her I loved and missed her, and so did she. and we planned a nice time for sunday. Thanks to all who helped me get through this week.

crystall

Hey Franklin! Cool it guy!I am an "old woman" but, I just intend to save your marriage.If you don't care for your wife, atleast let her go free and find someone who truly loves her.Don't cheat her that you love her.Thats what i meant.Well, I intend to save you from the plight of this guy here.It is so pitiful.I was moved to tears.He did get some good replies though.The elders at home must be telling both of you not to spoil your life over petty things but,looks like you are not listening.Well it took some rude old lady like me to set you right.I am glad .h t t p://w w w .divo rce360.com/blogs/2009/3/22/btrain/so-in-20-days-i-guess-it-is-possible-to-go-through-just-about-every-emotion-possible-blog-22497But maybe this is an eye opener for you. It's tough when a investment goes down the drain. Look at the housing market. Now's your time to investigate. Yourself. What is at the root cause of your anger? Is it her, or something you are doing. By all means get a lawyer, but do get a therapist too

franklinfx

Crystal Im guessing you are not a mentally stable person and at the very least ,you obviously dont even read the posts, you so rudely reply to. I just wrote in my last post, that I talked w/ my wife and had a very nice conversation ,which was the whole point of the thread . What the heck is your problem anyway? I came on here to tell my story, but because I somehow remind you of someone else, you think you have the right to attack me and call me an a hole? Vicious people like you are what sucks about the net and you should be ashamed of yourself! Be sure of one thing though, someone like you could never "set me straight", besides the insults, I can barely even understand the nonsense in your posts so please go awayand stop ruining my thread. There are folks on here cheating,beating,infecting,bankrupting and sitting infront of porn all day....go attack them!

Earthmother1970

Happy to hear the phone call with your wife went well, and that you have arranged a nice day together when she arrives home.

I'd still have to say that I feel the silent treatment never does any good - if you have problems then you need to be able to discuss them in a non-confrontational manner, using "I feel..." rather than "You..." statements. You want your wife to be able to talk with you and work through your issues together, not have her feel defensive.

Have you considered marriage counselling?

franklinfx

EM1970 Thanks I have considered counseling but I never brought it up to her. We both work long hrs so I dont know. We usually get along pretty good. I think the problem is I get frustrated cause I wish she would show her love and appreciation as much as I do, w/ out me saying anything to her. If I have to ask for it, it kinda defeats the purpose. I think the foundation of our marriage is better than I thought it was, because ,no offense to any other memeber but when I read some of the other stories here , mine doesnt seem so bad. Anyway thanks for your reply and advice.