LillyoftheValley

Me: (talking about my solo trip travel arrangements) I will be staying in this hotel for the whole time, then I might ask my (female friend) from that country to arrange for me to stay at any of her friends' for a couple of nights.

Him: Weird. That's weird.

Him= my husband.

Gaia

Is this a business trip or a pleasure trip?

__________________
"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~
Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~

LillyoftheValley

I would be a tourist; visit friends; he doesn't want to come though I asked him. We have hellish summers in my country; must get away. He doesn't mind staying. etc. bla bla bla

Gaia

Has he hinted he wanted YOU to stay? Or.. done/said anything aside from the... "Weird" comment.. that may suggest he is uncomfortable with the trip your taking?

__________________
"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~
Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~

Lon

Sounds weird to me too. But then I would never intentionally go on separate vacations - I would want to go. However maybe he would like to but feels it is not a good idea for other reasons: finances, work committments, maybe he would want to have a different agenda, whatever... and instead of saying so he is playing the nice guy and afraid to offend you by telling you to do something other than what you say you want to do, maybe he thinks this is a bad idea but just doesn't want to come across as a controlling husband.

SunnyT

I think it's nothing that requires trying to read into his words. Maybe he just said weird because it is something that he wouldn't do... meaning invite a guy friend of his to stay with him in a hotel.

Let it go. Go have fun.

LillyoftheValley

He actually "wants" me to go! I don't get him at all. Like SunnyT said, I think he said weird because simply it is nothing that he would do. But...if that's his comment "weird"...then, really, our communication sucks. Instead of saying "cool" he says "weird" as in "you are weird." The rest of the conversation went; mind my silly poor choice of words

Me: (collected, defensive) well you know me I am a hippy (I meant wanderlust)

He: you were never a hippy

Me: (collected, defensive): well yeah, I mean a wanderlust from my days in (so and so travel adventures). Trying to remind him how much I traveled on my own, that I WAS someone adventurous before I married him.

He said he doesn't want to come because he doesn't like to visit the same place twice. I should write a very interesting blog about him...shouldn't I. Sorry

end of conversation. One more day....

P.S. What I mean to say, he has encouraged me to go when I asked him if I could go alone, and then he drops this weird weird comment on me....schizophrenic? Even if it is something HE wouldn't do, what does that have to do with ME being weird? I don't see much sense in his comment, although he totes himself to be very intelligent. I rest my case.

Gaia

Maybe it was him being weird??? lol

__________________
"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~
Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~

LillyoftheValley

Gaia: EXACTLY Finally, a listening ear.

Let's end it here then, hehe.

My friend tells me that engineers have horrible communication skills. I kept hoping he would improve, but I think I misjudge him. This is who he is, and I keep wanting him to be something else. Like saying "cool" instead of "weird." In my book he could have said, "interesting," and follow it with with a question or a comment about how he doesn't do stuff like that, while I actually seek stuff like that, gives me a chance to learn the culture from people by living with them briefly. If I am to live with this man I have to learn to hold a huge poster sign saying: YOU DON'T OWN ME!

PBear

Sorry, I missed the section of the conversation where you said (in a calm, non-confrontational voice) "what do you mean "weird"?". Wouldn't that be a normal response when your partner says something you don't understand?

I'd say both of you have communication issues...

C
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SunnyT

Mars vs. Venus. That's all.

LillyoftheValley

Suny T: sigh.

PBear: true. I think I already have a preconceived notion that he doesnt really care what i soulfully think, because his tone/demeanor is usually unrefined and arrogant. All men in our culture are this way. We lived abroad for a long time, i thought I got a better deal. We come back home and it becomes clear that my deal was temporary. King of the house macho man syndrome. I completely stopped chatting with him except for maybe 20 minutes a day. We are both on a break. Today we are both home and it had been 5.5 hours, am in my room he in his room. I mean the room next door. He didnt come up to me to say a single word. This kills me.
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