juans

My H and i have been married for 5 years, been together for 10. Within the last year i feel that he won't talk to me. Everytime i come home he's playing PS3 and the house is a mess and wants nothing to do with me. I try to initiate conversation but most answers are simply yes/no. Within this same time-frame it feels there has been a lack of physically intimacy. My H is angry b/c i don't want to have sex but i feel that the only time we talk or he touches, kisses or even grabs my hand is when he wants sex. Sex now has a bad vibe with me b/c i wonder why he can't kiss, hug, touch, talk prior to sex? We've talked and he gets better for a couple days but then he's back to normal self. i feel more like room-mates then H and W. Is it just me, have i moved on?

Maricha75

What do you mean by this? Moved on it what way? And what, specifically have you discussed? Have you discussed the fact that you are irritated that all he does is play on the PS3 instead of cleaning the house? Have you discussed the lack of intimacy BESIDES when initiating/having sex? And when he lapses, what do you do? Do you let it go, let the resentment build again? Or do you bring it to his attention immediately?

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juans

By moving on i mean emotionally. b/c i feel like room-mates rather then H & W and i have discussed my feelings of lack of communication, helping around the house, playing too much ps3- i often wonder if i have just shut down. Of course i want a relationship/intamacy with my H but i don't have much of that drive anymore... When he lapses i give it a couple days and try and talk with him or see if he'll change or pick up the house but often i need to ask- almost like i'm his mom.
Overall we do not fight much and the reason for that may be because we do not talk much. I also do think he feels that house duty's are a wife job rather that he's lazy and doesn't want to do it.

WorkingOnMe

So, you don't want to have sex with your husband when he acts like his normal self? Weird. Why are you married to him? What kind of person do you want him to be, if not his normal self? Sounds like you want him to jump through hoops before you'll provide him with the affection that he deserves as your husband.

lamaga

Communication is hard. You have to work at it. I was a bit confused by your initial post, since you outlined all the objectionable things he does, and then asked, "have I just moved on?"

So, do you want to work this out, or do you want permission to move on? Two very different questions, and I'm not judging either of them, but you've got to know what you are asking.

juans

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