CrayinNH

I haven't had sex with my husband in over a year. I catch him watching porn on T.V and the answer I get is "it's different". Recently, he's been acting weird. He has this attitude about him that basically screams I don't respect my wife (which he admits). He's been coming home a little later than usual, he ignores texts or phone calls. I came across 2 charges on the credit card bill (VOD) and he said he had no clue how the charges got there. I'm pretty good w/ computers and just basic common sense. I researched and found the website which is porn videos and in order to log in you need your email address. So, I figured he must use his work email and our usual password. BINGO. I got right into his account. I viewed the history and it also states the video that was viewed, the date and time. He looks at the videos at home BUT somewhere else as well. The time frame is when he is apparently at work. Ok, so..where? I know he can't go on his work computer. Oh, during this time I also found a stain in his boxers when doing laundry(TMI I know but I want to give the facts). I just confronted him with all of this and he denies it! He said he looks at it at home.
In the past 4 days he viewed 195 videos just on this site.
I'm at the end of my rope with the lies. I'm thinking he's also cheating on me because he is so wrapped up in his little world. I need some opinions. Does this sound like porn addiction? Cheating? I'm so unhappy and I feel so neglected as a wife and I feel that nobody can really understand how I feel unless they have experienced this. It's a hopeless feeling.
Any feedback is appreciated.

Prodigal

YES, he is addicted to porn.

As far as cheating, sure sounds like there are some big red flags waving in the breeze.

There are folks on TAM who can tell you exactly how to proceed in order to confirm your suspicions. And it is time to find out what the he!! is going on with your husband. He may be watching the porn at a buddy's house ... or he may be watching it with another woman.

The thing that strikes me is the sheer amount he watches, which makes me think he doesn't have much time (or interest) in having a real, live sexual partner. The fantasy is doing the trick for him.

JMO.

__________________
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

Numb in Ohio

Hadn't counted my H's videos...

On Friday morning he watched 47 videos... this would be in a 6 hour time... guess seeing the links was shocking,,but actually counting them was unbelievable..

Prodigal

Okay, you have counted how many videos he has watched. What do YOU intend to do about this marital situation? You confront. He denies. Not working, is it?

Do you plan to stay with this man? If so, why?

__________________
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

CrayinNH

I didn't count them. On the website that he paid for they have how many videos he has watched. It's still sick. The lying is killing me. I wish he would just tell me already. A couple of hours after I confronted him with what I found he asked me if I wanted to go out and do something. WHAT?! I'm in my bedroom, upset, crying and that's what he has to say? I know..I'm stupid for putting up with this and I don't know why I don't have enough respect for myself to leave.

Prodigal

If you happen to stop by the forum and read your post again, I would suggest you seek the answer to this specific issue.

__________________
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

lamaga

WAIT WAIT WAIT --- chicken or egg?

You haven't had sex with him for over a year?

Doesn't seem odd to me that he is looking at porn. What's the timeline here?

GPR

Agree, and timeline would be helpful.

And not that the porn (especially that amount of it) isn't a bad thing, but don't jump to the conclusion that him watching that much porn means he's cheating.

Men with Porn can be a weird dynamic. There is the obvious answer to the "why", but a lot of times there is also a deeper "Why?" that goes along with the obvious. That deeper "Why?" can be any number of things.