Drover

I see a lot of posts here saying a spouse refuses to go to marriage counseling. What reasons do they give? I'm really just curious about this...?

Chris Taylor

My wife said we didn't need it (we were ready to break up), that problems can be solved by ourselves (they weren't) and that we shouldn't speak to people outside our marriage about our problems.

She also felt that I had the problem, not "us", which is why as soon as the MC started addressing her issues, she stopped going.

ItMatters

My spouse one time said he didn't want to know what was wrong. Ummm, yeah, that worked real well.

dormant

Mine wife initially said "Why? We don't have a problem!"

A few months later she agreed to see someone. I am feel incouraged now. Some good issues are coming out.

Mavash.

I resisted because I thought we could fix it ourselves and thought it was lame/weak to seek couseling.

I've since eaten those words. I now think everyone could benefit from counseling both individual and as a couple.

827Aug

Oh, my estranged husband said he was too busy. Counseling would have interfered with his active social calendar. Also, the mistresses told him he was perfect just the way he was. Surely I (being the mean ole nasty wife) must be the one in need of counseling.

resetbuttonpushed

I got the, this isn't something we can't fix on our own, we don't need professional help... blah blah.

SunnyT

My ex said "WE don't have a problem..." Insinuating that only I had a problem, but then again he didn't believe in "sharing" anything.

in my tree

Mine gave no reason. I asked him why and he really gave no answers. He just "didn't want to go". Then after I told him that I wanted a divorce he said "I should have gone to counseling with you".

good luck.

fromblisstothis

The first thing I suggested when we had the 'separation' talk was MC- I was not at all prepared or willing to separate. He said 'It is not just one thing that needs to be 'tweaked' but a lot of things'.
He never really got around to explaining what those things were.