He says he's not attracted to me.
It started during my pregnancy. He didn't like the weight gain. At one point he told me that "big fat pregnant chicks" didn't turn him on. I have never been a thin person. I'm only one size bigger now than when we met, but I guess that's enough for him to now find me completely unattractive. He'll still have sex with me at least once every two weeks, but I mostly feel it's from pity. He says that he loves me sometimes (in that, if I ask him if he loves me he'll say "sometimes I do"). I know other men find me attractive - I still turn a few heads, but it's destroying me and all of the little bit of self confidence that I have left that my husband does not find me attractive. He watches porn and masturbates almost daily and hides it from me. He doesn't trust me. If I pick up his phone to check the time or anything, he yanks it out of my hand. If I sit down at his computer (yeah, we have separate computers) he'll yell at me to get out of there. I know for a fact that he's not cheating on me, he just doesn't want me to see the porn. I have tried to tell him over and over that I don't care if he watches porn, but he just gets angry with me. I've tried to watch with him when I accidentally walk in on him, but he shuts it and gets mad at me for "sneaking up on him" (it's always because I've been in bed for a few hours and woke up without him and went to find him, but he thinks I'm trying to "catch" him). Recently, I gave up everything (job/life/friends) so we could move closer to his family. Right now I do not have a job. I don't think I want to leave, but I just don't know what to do anymore. How can he love me if he doesn't trust me or find me attractive? How can I talk to him about it if he won't talk to me? He doesn't care that he hurts me either.
He is also addicted to video games. I have begged him for the past week to stop playing and just watch tv or a movie or go out for a walk with me. He won't spend any time with me. He thinks that because we are in the same house every night that we are always together, but with him facing his computer all day/night, we aren't together at all and he sees nothing wrong with this. It's very frustrating.