General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Hi everyone, first time being on here. Well to make this short, I have been in a relationship for 5.5 yrs (I'm 29, she is 28) with a great girl and she has been really wanting a ring, to get married and have children. She is great, she's caring, supportive, and yes she has her days.
Here's the thing: I feel used to her, I don't feel much of a physical attraction for her (even though I say she is sexy I don't hardly feel it). She compliments me on my looks but I don't compliment her as much because I feel like I have to force it out of me. I am also checking out other women when we go to the mall, theater, anywhere.
I care for and love her but it feels like this is creating so much trouble for me I don't know know if I should get married.
This is the reason why I haven't proposed yet, I am unsure.
I'd appreciate any feedback. Thanks for your time.
RUn ... run..... Run away fast. Let the girl loose so she can find the man of her dreams that will make her happy, support her & not be bored with her in 5 years.
& DON"T get engaged to someone that does not make your heart sing. That if you are not with them... and you have a great moment... that you don't think of them, & can't wait to share it with them.
Although it will hurt both of you in the short term to break up, it's nothing compared to what you will go through in a few years down the track when you inevitably cheat or seperate then.
If you feel this way now you really need to listen to yourself and do not get married to someone you're not attracted to.
She is not the right one. Do not marry her. Move on and break up. The sooner you end this relationship, the better.
My husband and I have never lost that attraction towards each other. We've been together for 13 years and still are very much in love and attracted. My husband proposed to me after 6 months of dating. I never brought up the issue whatsoever. I knew he'd been thinking about asking me since he mentioned it before he asked. My husband still to this day treats me as if we first met. We both knew instantly that we were meant for each other.
Hey, thanks for all of the replies. I feel horrible admitting it. We do get along, have a lot of the same interests and do care for each other. I thought that would be enough. It seems like there are couples that become attracted later on in the relationship. I feel like we have more of a connection then when we first were going out.
This would be so hard for me to do, such a loss and heart break for both of us.
I feel like I don't know how I would go on with my life. We've been together for so long
Hi, no she has a great personality, caring, I just find the problem is her looks. I feel like I don't have that ummph, desire for her nearly as much. She is not really into working out, trying to be fit and active. I have tried to get her more involved, but she doesn't seem to have much interest.
From this I feel a lot of guilt and depression. There is a part of me that has such a hard time in saying, that is it, we are done. So much anxiety and horrible feeling thinking about it. I feel like I am struggling with this almost everyday.
Thanks again for the replies and thank you occasionallybaffled.
That sounds tough. I don't think it is uncommon for lustful feelings to sort of calm down. But if you make fitness, health and being active a priority and she doesn't, I feel like that could be a source of contention in your marriage.
Also, at this point in time, thinking about getting engaged, you should be nothing but excited. I wouldn't try and talk you out of anything, only you know what the relationship is.
It sounds like you have a very meaningful and loving relationship, I can tell it breaks your heart that you are unsure. It is lovely that you care for her so much, but it doesn't mean she is the one for you for life and you for her.
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~~~ SW ~~~
~ A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you". Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"...She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wine.
10 [a] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[b] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[c]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
14Likes
Close to being engaged, but.... 
