04-16-2009, 02:13 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
| | need help understanding
I have had a terrible past with my wife. I used to drink too much and use drugs. There was also a time when I told my wife that I didn't want her touching me. This all happened right before I had a breakdown and was hospitalized. I ended up finding out that I was bi-polar and needed to be on meds. It took years to find the right meds, but I finally got there. Now I am trying to make up for the past and help things get better between the the wife and me.
Although I hurt my wife in many ways, the one thing she can't let go is when I told her not to touch me anymore. I can't blame her. It was a terrible thing to say. I don't know if it's the drugs or my age, but I have no desire for sex anymore, but I do miss just the loving touch of everyday life.
I have been talking to my wife in the last month and trying to get us to move forward. She says that I do this on a regular basis and I always screw things up in the end. Being bipolar, I'm not sure if she is right because I don't remember some things. I have tried to find a way, any way, that I can get us to move forward and make our relationship better.
Days ago, she asked that I not get upset when she asked me to do something. I told her that I was sorry that I was doing that and that I would work on it. Well, I think I did real good. I asked her to not "attack" me sometimes when she speaks to me. That did not work. I'm not mister wonderful. Just want you to know that I'm trying.
I have tried every way that I can to talk to her and let her know that I care and want us to get things straight and live happier. But nothing works. I love my wife dearly and I want us to live a good life. Can someone please say something? I don't care if you beat me up, anything that would shed some light would be appreciated.