KnightMaster

I have forgiven my wife for her infidelity that occurred just over 2yrs ago. My problem is she continues to flip between showing a great amount of love and affection, to becoming very passive aggressive and being completely irresponsible for anything she says or does.

We have discussed her failure to return my calls when she is out (she admits it is wrong and that she would not want me to do the same)
This is also true with her hurtful sarcasm; raising her voice-especially in front of the children; rolling her eyes and other forms of disrespectful body language; dismissive remarks, avoidance/feigned ignorance of my feelings; hurtful comments; apathy; negative assumptions...the list goes on and is very long. She also states she is trying to tell me how she feels and what she thinks (the lack of which led to most of our communication problems.

I have tried many different techniques-some of which solve the problems temporarily. However they always return.

When I get the strength/time/energy to discuss this after a day or two of her " nice" side. She admits she has problems. Only to state the next time she has no problems and she has taken responsibility for everything and is tired of doing so and she is "done". I am concerned for our 6yr old daughter as she is starting to shut down emotionally.

Uptown

KM, a year ago you expressed a concern (6/7/11 post) that your W may have BPD. I don't know whether she does but, if you still have that concern, you may want to read about the experiences that I and Maybe had with our BPDer wives. The posts start in Maybe's thread at My list of hell!.

You may also profit from taking a look at Shari Schreiber's description of a passive-aggressive BPDer at BORDERLINE WAIFS AND UNSUNG HEROES; Rescuing The Woman Who Doesn't Want To Be Saved.. If those descriptions ring a bell, I would be glad to discuss them with you and point you to excellent online resources. Take care, KM.

bkaydezz

i think she is unhappy. and it could be from bpd. thats what it sounds like to me. shes up and down here and there, talks and then shuts down. i do that i take medicine for it. but the infidelity could be a problem for her still, she may also be wanting something different but doesnt know how to go about it because of the ups and downs.