Angry people male and female

WEBELONG2GETHER · 07-10-2012, 12:01 PM

Hi i read a post yesterday and it got me wondering, how many people live with angry spouses, or verbally abusive spouses.

I live with a person who can become angry and say some horrible things to me and the children. i took it stupidly for many years until i just could not do it anymore.

So angry men or women. if you are wondering where your passionate mate is, or why sex is not the same, or why you guys do not have a relationship, i bet it stems from you being mad at every freaking thing.

just a sad vent

bkaydezz · 07-10-2012, 09:44 PM

i have bipolar tendancies according to make doctor. i go into really elevated stages of happiness as well as lowered in stages of sadness. ive had it my whole life just never understood why i actually felt like that. but i would get angry over the silliest thigns and really battle myself with trying to fight that. and it was always so hard. im not a grudgeful person, nor will i probably ever be, but i could forgive the person and just let something simple dwell in my head for days at a time maybe even a wekk until i come to my senses and realize how much of my time i had actually wasted doing that when i could be forgetting the entire thing. harnesting it is aweful it eats you up and i would wonder sometimes why i could do that and how to let it go. but now i am taking medication to help calm me down and its helped so much. its definately something i dont want the rest of my life but it if helps me deal with the hell inside of my mind then i am willing to accept it and change myself for much more happiness in my life then leaving myself suffer and the ones around me that i love and love me suffer too!!!! hope this helps you get a understanding of soemthings!!!!

KathyBatesel · 07-10-2012, 09:52 PM

Oh, I've known my share of those angry people. I don't know them for very long these days, fortunately. You'll get better at spotting those tendencies and run for the hills, I hope!

Homemaker_Numero_Uno · 07-10-2012, 10:11 PM

I think a lot of people don't understand that being tolerant of being the subject/object of anger and abuse just leads to more of the same. Tolerance doesn't really make the other person feel better, it just makes them even more angry and abusive. In order to 'solve' an abusive and angry relationship, you have to take control of it, usually this means removal of the object (yourself) either permanently or proactively in order to sidestep the anger/abuse.

I have a lot of peace in my life now since I took that step.
I also think it's important to remove oneself in order to avoid becoming frustrated and perhaps even angry at oneself for failing at self-care/exposure to mental/psychological harm.
Unfortunately, contrary to popular adage, words do hurt, and can cause a lot of damage to one's physical health.
Ultimately, you have to choose for yourself, whether to pat yourself on the back for being the better person (and accumulating harm) or moving the pat down lower and kicking yourself in the butt to take action and get out of Dodge.

nice777guy · 07-10-2012, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno

I think a lot of people don't understand that being tolerant of being the subject/object of anger and abuse just leads to more of the same. Tolerance doesn't really make the other person feel better, it just makes them even more angry and abusive. In order to 'solve' an abusive and angry relationship, you have to take control of it, usually this means removal of the object (yourself) either permanently or proactively in order to sidestep the anger/abuse.

I have a lot of peace in my life now since I took that step.
I also think it's important to remove oneself in order to avoid becoming frustrated and perhaps even angry at oneself for failing at self-care/exposure to mental/psychological harm.
Unfortunately, contrary to popular adage, words do hurt, and can cause a lot of damage to one's physical health.
Ultimately, you have to choose for yourself, whether to pat yourself on the back for being the better person (and accumulating harm) or moving the pat down lower and kicking yourself in the butt to take action and get out of Dodge.

Absolutely. Those words take a toll...

EleGirl · 07-10-2012, 10:25 PM

Yep there are a lot of angry people who seem to just want to stay there ... stuck in anger.

And then there are also some people who have very good reasons to be angry... and learning to deal with justified anger until the issues can be solved can be difficult. It can take a lot of effort to not lash about at people.. especially the guilty.

WEBELONG2GETHER · 07-10-2012, 11:18 PM

thanks for replying. i am so fed up with my husbands anger, i know its wrong but i have shut down. i pretend things are fine but they are not. i can honestly say i hate him.

bkaydezz · 07-10-2012, 11:20 PM

what does he say is the reason for the anger?

WEBELONG2GETHER · 07-11-2012, 12:03 AM

something i did not do or something the kids did not do to his perfection, lately it does not matter he complains about every darn thing. i keep saying i need to do something really bad so he can have a real reason to be mad.

YinPrincess · 07-11-2012, 12:10 AM

My husband is an angry person. Unfortunately I am too, now. :/
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larry.gray · 07-11-2012, 12:40 AM

My dad was verbally abusive to my mom and I found a bit creeping in a few years ago. I've made a conscious choice to never do it again. Not good for wifey, definitely not good for the kids.