my wife and I went through a similar issue at the same time in our marriage. I had a distraction (addiction to online porn) and it made her eventually feel unwanted. (understandably lol)..
she used to preach to me about her feelings, etc.. she used to make me sleep separately, she'd allow the resentment to build etc..
exactly like what you guys have going on.
In hindsight, I didn't do the right things.. neither did she..
What I'd offer is simply this..(and we've been married 7yrs. so far.. made it through THAT dilemma and have faced countless others HAHA)
leave a note in the shower in the morning for him that says "you can sleep in bed with me tonight"
then text him at work and ask him if he's gotta hard on ? out of the blue...
THEN at bedtime, roll over and don't do the "we need to talk" bit.. that always turns on my ignore machine HAHA...
the key is to lead from behind. an approach that I appreciate NOW and would have loved to konw THEN is something my wife shared with me..
she said "when we have sex, I don't always have to have an orgasm" MAN i felt relieved.. If your hubby is stressed out at work, he may also feel pressured to get you off, pay attention to you, MAKE LOVE to you etc.. and all he may be in the mood for cuz of his day is just getting his jollies and going to sleep.
Now this doesn't mean that it has to be this way all the time, I mean we are all human and have needs, however this may be a way to re-spark the fire that was once raging..
Or hop in the shower with him unexpectedly, orally please him and make a swift exit.
don't try to force the 'romantic evenings' on him.. guys like it to be their idea..
get some different body spray or perfume .. men love the smell of a sexy woman..
Just my .02
i hope this helps