elizabeth93

My FIL is a drug addict and alcoholic. When I got pregnant I didn't have to see him a whole lot because he smoked in his house (ciggeretes and pot). My husband ask him not to when we were there because it made me sick, my FIL said it was his d*** house he can do whatever he wants. We didn't go to see him and he didn't come to see us. Right before we had our son my FIL kicked his wife out because he was on meth and started acting crazy. He started coming to our house messed up everyday and night after the baby got here. My husband was too chicken to tell his dad to stop coming to the house messed up, so when my FIL called one night wanting my husband to come get him from a rough part of town I took the phone, cussed him out, and told him not to come back to my house or call with any of his bull**** anymore. He straightened up after that(so I thought), he took his wife back, and went back to work. Him and my husband are now working together(they work a lot). My FIL has been on drugs again for a while now and my husband acts oblivious. My husband has to carry his dad's weight at work. His dad doesn't respect himself or anyone for that matter. He doesn't want anyone other than him to be a part of his sons life. My husband is slowly turning into his dad and it is really bothering me. My FIL has put words in mouth countless times trying to start s*** and my husband never says anything to him. Yesterday my mom took my son with her and I let her take my truck so we didn't have to switch the carseat. When my husband and FIL get home, I'm sitting on the porch talking on the phone and my FIL tells me hey and I wave at him. About 20 minutes later my FIL calls my husband wanting to know where I was and where the truck was...like it's any of his busines. My MIL calls me this morning asking if everything was ok bc my FIL was questioning her about where I was and what I was doing. I feel like he was insinuating that I was being sneaky and hiding something. My FIL is a miserable person and wants everyone else to be miserable. Sorry if i rambled but I need some advice....

Shaggy

Your husband sounds like he's slipped into a codependent role of accepting and even supporting his father. It's the easy low conflict way for him to deal with it. He's going to need help getting himself out of that role, likely professional help.
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