07-17-2012, 10:49 AM
Join Date: May 2011
| | Re: Another Red Flag Post... but this time you paid attention
An old boyfriend, obviously. This was after I had gotten pregnant my last year of high school and had a baby. I met a guy who also had a kid, only he was a little older and his kid was 2. So we seemed perfect together. We had a great time, he was great for the first month. Then the second month he told me his ex-gf (mother of his child) called the cops on him. I asked why, he said "Because I was following her." and when I asked why he would be following her he said it was because she had their kid and she was going to a couple different bowling alleys and he didnt' want his kid in a bowling alley with her and her friends. I said okay, but noted in my mind that I thought his story was complete B.S. When I started getting calls from his ex with her saying to stay away from him or she would kill me, that he was her man - and I confronted him with it, he said he has no idea how she got my number (these were the days before caller ID and stuff) or why she was calling me and basically said she was lying. So I put two and two together and figured he wasn't through with his ex, not only was he following her around at night but now she's calling me and threatening me like they are not over, so I broke it off. I was really proud of myself for saying no to that situation. I was not going to be the 'other woman'.
After breaking up and getting back together with my ex (father of my child) a few times, the last time I called him (granted, we were really young...only about 18/19...so we both still lived with our parents) at night after I got off of work because I was supposed to go over his house. Well, this was after we had a kid, after his parents knew me well over 2 years and knew we were together over 2 years. He got on the phone and was all whispering 'You can't come over now." and I'm like, "Why?" and he's like, "My dad doesn't want anybody over." and I'm like, "Why are you whispering??" and he gets all flustered and whispers, "Cuz my dad's in a bad mood." and my B.S. meter went off big-time and I pretty much guessed he had another girl over and was whispering so she didn't know he was on the phone with me. I never called him again. Three months later I called his house to ask his mom to take the baby and he answered and was like, "Did we break up or something?" Like DUH! What a dumb question!
Before those two incidents, between break-ups with the father of my child, I had a different boyfriend that kept lamenting that he wasn't ready to be a father (in reference to my baby) so I nixed that relationship soon after.
Why did I ignore all the red flags with my husband of now? I was absolutely crazy about him. I guess "lost-my-mind" type crazy about him. I did break up with him and kicked him out for a month after we had already moved in together. I knew I was going to have to put up with some crap if i stayed with him. Didn't feel I wanted to. Felt I deserved better. He was so good about giving me space while still maintaining contact and letting me know he was still in love with me and still wanted to come back, but after a month he started to get worried and started building up to ultimatums so I asked him to come back. I still loved him and thought the break-up would change some things, but it only made him bitter in the end about me having put him through that and made things worse. He just ended up being vindictive about it and took on a whole "How dare she do that to ME!" type attitude and according to him, he still hasn't forgiven me or let it go and is still making me pay for it by not loving me as much as he did before.