I've come to a conclusion

wonder · 04-23-2009, 08:46 AM

It's not my fault we're seperated. He kept saying it was, but it wasn't. He wants me to be something i'm not. I tried to be that person, but I just can't. How is him wanted me to be someone else my fault? It's not!!!!!!!! He knew how I was when he asked me to marry him. I gave him chances to walk away coz I knew it would be difficult being married to me, but he stayed. How is that my fault? it's not!!!!!!!!!!!! my attitude and personality never changed, but his did. how is that my fault? it's not!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why can't he just see that. AND WHY THE HELL DOES HE KEEP DOING NICE THINGS FOR ME?????????????????????? he doesn't owe me anything. the things he does for me don't benifit our daughter. he's not getting anything out of being nice (no sex). i just don't understand how he can be nice to me, yet doesn't care about me.

Earthmother1970 · 04-23-2009, 09:03 AM

Wonder,
Some people are just nice. Despite everything going on in my life, I continued to cook for the husband whom I am seperating from, I continued to buy him his favourite chocolate, and his favourite type of juice....but now I am going to concentrate on me and what makes me happy.

Wonder, you maybe need to stop trying to figure out his motives and obsessing about all the things he does or doesn't do, and concentrate on trying to heal yourself.

DownButNotOut · 04-23-2009, 09:42 AM

As my grandmother used to say "It don't take no effort to be nice".

Maybe he is being nice for the sake of being nice? You *are* the mother of his daughter, and like it or not, the two of you should try to get along for her sake. Perhaps he is nice for that reason?

But why question it? Just accept it and move on. Would you rather he be cruel?

recent_cloud · 04-23-2009, 01:40 PM

i think it's wonderful, but not wise, that you tried to change for your husband, and equally wonderful, but not wise,that your husband married you knowing it might be difficult.

i wouldn't be surprised to learn your husband thought that you might change; that's very common, but again, unwise.

if he did wish you might change, then your sin was to not meet his expectations.

it seems you both gave the marriage a good try, and it just wasn't going to work after all. but that doesn't mean he dislikes you; i don't see why you'd think that.

i have a son, and his mom will always have a special place in my heart, no matter what transpires, or has transpired, between us.

and, that is as it should be.