Lost Gal

Hi all, I am upset with my marriage at this moment. I am always in a situation whereby I go to bed upset and can't sleep. It's 2am now, awake and I want to get some perspective. Here's the background. I just got home happily from a great dinner with my colleagues. I had a bad gastric earlier and I told my husband about it. We are also trying for baby #2. So upon reaching home, I expect him to ask me about my gastric, how's the dinner etc. Instead, we didn't really talk. He is not a sociable person. The next thing he said is we have to talk about something related to family. It turns out that his parents who currently stay in a rental place wants to buy a new place. Well, he said there are 2 options, either we move in together with them, or sell our place to them and we buy a bigger place. I don't get along well with my mother in law but I do not want to keep him from staying with his parents, so I just casually brought up the idea of staying with my parents for the weekdays and move back on the weekend. It's just a suggestion but he got work up about it. Immediately, communication stopped , he grabbed his company laptop and started working. We did our separate things. I am angry because it is just a suggestion and he is not open to ideas. I also want time with my own parents. I also hope he is more caring towards not letting me be overly upset, as I may be pregnant.

Anyway, this is just an example. I am always in such a situation. I just find it so difficult to communicate and it seems like I am always the one hurting. He is snoring away now. Sometimes, I thought of leaving but this is probably impulsive. But I am happier when I am with my colleagues and family.

Can anyone share your perspective? What should I do?

Toffer

Counseling

You both seem to place WAY too much emphasis on your families. The emphasis should be on YOUR family

Ten_year_hubby

See if you can find a course in couple's communication. Then discuss how you can ask both your parents for money

River1977

So, maybe I need more information because neither of you make any sense to me. I suspect it's more so you based on your suggestion and the way you told this story.

1. Why did he suggest moving in with his parents? What does that have to do with them buying a house?

2. Why did he suggest selling them your house and buying a bigger one? Can his parents not find a house to buy? What does them buying a house have to do with you and your husband, your house, and where the two of you live?

3. In his opinion, why are those the only two options?

4. Why did you suggest living with your parents through the week and moving on the weekends? Moving back where? To your house? Or his parents' place?

5. Who would want to live in different places twice a week?

6. Why is it that his parents buying a house cause for the two of you to be inconvenienced?

7. Why do you feel he should walk on eggshells because you "might" be pregnant?

I suspect he shut down because you didn't make sense in suggesting to live in two different places twice a week, but then his suggestions didn't make any sense either because I don't know how the two of you are involved with his parents buying a house.