Re: Sleepless in Austin
Thank you all for your replies.
He has Scoliosis and he has had the same bed for the past 7 years. The middle of the bed has sunk in the middle & it's very obvious when you look at the bed.
He's not a small guy (he's 6'5 which is vastly different from my 5'1 frame) and so he needs a big bed to sleep comfortably. When I tried sleeping over a month ago, it went horribly wrong. I ended up sleeping on the couch and the next day he went to see his chiropractor because he was up for the rest of the night in complete pain.
Sisters359: I haven't been planning our wedding in my mind. I do believe that he has been honest with me about who he is. He's a terrible liar (he stutters when he lies) so I know that he's not throwing game at me.
YinPrincess: I am like you. I love to cuddle in the morning. I don't move around a lot when I sleep. I don't take up much of my bed & I sleep like a rock. Him on the other hand, he moves around a lot and he has to have a pillow between his legs because of his scoliosis. He also wakes up easily. He likes for things to be completely quiet in the room in order to go to sleep. I on the other hand, grew up in a noisy house and therefore, I can't fall asleep unless there's some noise in the background. So he suggested a noise-maker like a white noise generator. I am not okay with sleeping in separate bedrooms and I don't want this to become the "norm" for us.
He is equally as frustrated as I am about this. He has asked his chiropractor for advice on this subject and his chiropractor agrees that he needs a new bed. I don't think commitment is the issue. We have met each other's families and friends. We talk everyday at some point unless we're both busy in which case, we let the other know about it.
I agree that it is too early in the relationship to be having this kind of problem. We talked about it last night after I emailed him a link to an article that offered suggestions to couples who have problems sleeping in the same bed and we found one of the bits of advice to be useful and so we're going to try this one out:
We would have a blowup mattress in his office and if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night due to lack of sleep then we could slip into the other bed without disturbing the other.
I am willing to try this idea out and see how it works out. In the meantime, he is going to put the bed on layaway and make payments on it. I hope him & I can find a middle ground for the time being. Has anyone ever dated someone with Scoliosis? I don't know much about the condition. I've done a bit of research on the matter but I don't know how to help with the sleeping part.