Pema5033

Bingo! you got it! This is all the "Little Princess" wants. But the American father (I came from Asia) thinks I worry about too much.

donewithit

HELL no

i love my kids from my husbands first marriage..the are adults now one living with us and one with her, but when they were teens there is NO WAY in hell i would allow her to move that close. we own our home. i would SELL if she moved in on our street.

I made the mistake many years ago of letting her stay here for two nights as she had left her current bf due to what she said was abuse and i didnt know what to do she had no where to go until her sister got home from vacation that weekend., I did it for the child, but I took both days off work. no way in hell was i leaving her home alone in my house.

it was stupid and i was angry at my hubby for ever marrying her lol

NO NO NO NO make it VERY clear to your hubby.

ScarletBegonias

whatever.he can go pee into the wind with that idea.

i go outside in my cleaning outfit to empty the vacuum filter...hair in a messy bun,paint splattered yoga pants,flip flops,and a wife-beater tank top...you think i want my SO's ex seeing me like that? I'd feel like i'd always have to be on point in case i run into her skank a$$.

run into her walking the dog in the evening,run into her when you come home from work,run into her and she sees that you buy a pint of ben n jerry's ice cream every week with your groceries...

sounds like tiny stuff but I swear some of these ex's use ANY ammo they can get to be petty,snide,and to cut you down.

__________________
Laugh and laughing fall apart
Soon your luscious honey sugar mellifluous life is gonna end

Pema5033

This lady calls my husband very often. Especially when she gets lost, my husband has to explain to her how to drive to her destination. She has a GPS but she likes to call him. My husband loves to help her because his daughter in her car(he says).

ScarletBegonias

OMG.OMFG. RED FLAG HONEY!!!

You are sharing your husband.This apartment thing is the least of your worries.Your husband needs to cut the cord with his ex.

Being a good father and being there for your child DOES NOT mean you have to suck the exes arse every single time she plays damsel in distress.

__________________
Laugh and laughing fall apart
Soon your luscious honey sugar mellifluous life is gonna end

sculley

Sweetie is there a history of him being controlling? I have seen in many marriages in the military like that. I'm sorry women know women and I don't care how oblivious my husband is about women being vindictive he knows not to try that sort of garbage.
Now when I first divorced my ex, him and I lived in the same apartment complex but we were both single just divorced and our son was special needs and that was the best decision at that time to help him (it was all about our son) if there is no one else in the picture I can see that sort of situation being ok but HECK NO in your situation....

__________________
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

sculley

Really sounds to me like something is going on there almost like they aren't completely over..... You sure he isn't lying just justifying it because of his daughter? If you allow him to move her into your complex that will be the least of your worries it almost seems as though this is the next step between them two. You will loose all respect, any power you do have and I can almost assure you that it wont be long before an affair of some sort might show up. Just my opinion

__________________
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

ScarletBegonias

__________________
Laugh and laughing fall apart
Soon your luscious honey sugar mellifluous life is gonna end

Pema5033

I have told my husband very clearly, the day it happened, the day I went back to my home country but hee said I was threatening him.

sculley

Do you guys have kids together? Polietely tell him it isn't a threat, if he cant respect you and your marital bond how can he expect you to respect him as the leader of your home?

__________________
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

A Bit Much

Well maybe he should have never left her if he's so concerned.

This stinks to high heaven. He's taking advantage of your kind and naive heart my dear. He's been testing you all the time for a situation like this to arise, thinking since you've been so gracious and complacent surely you will do the same in this instance.

Don't let him off the hook about this. I would issue an ultimatum. If that woman moves in, you're moving OUT. They can play happy family without you.

Pema5033

My husband said before the moveing in the same building effect out relationship, my reaction to avoid this happen has already effected our relationship. He said I do whatever I want. He does whatever he wants. I truly understand as a father what would be a really wonderful thing to live with her princess daughter in the same building. I am so vicious to prevent this happiness come to him.

mrsamazing

I don't think the surface issue of the ex living close by is a big deal. My nine year old's father moved in two blocks away (into the apt I lived in when I started dating my husband ironically) in my very small town. It meant seeing him around all the time, but my son could just walk over for his visits. However, I have zero contact with my ex other than related to the child. Sounds like you are in a sticky spot.

sculley

I think he is trying to manipulate you honestly. He seems as if your just there for whatever he wants. It doesn't sound like a marriage but more of a business partnership.

__________________
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

sculley

Does he have joint custody with his ex of the daughter? Or he is given visitation? I think if he gets her part of the time why is it so important to be right on top of each other. Just in my mind it would be too easy to slip out at night and "go visit"

__________________
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson