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View Poll Results: Women, how do you feel about sex?
I love sex. 99 86.09%
I don’t really like sex… but endure it sometimes but would rather not. 8 6.96%
I don’t like sex. Won't have it. 1 0.87%
Other, will explain. 7 6.09%
Voters: 115. You may not vote on this poll

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post #106 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 06:25 PM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

These polls are fun and interesting, but people need to keep in mind that the selection effects here are very large. Most people are on TAM because of some issue in their marriages, and frequently that issue involves their sex life. I think we have to expect to see a lot of people (of either gender) who would really enjoy sex if only......

Lots of women really enjoy sex. Lots of men really enjoy sex. Lots of couples have great sex lives.


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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Here is another thread on the topic that you might find interesting. Here on TAM we mostly hear from men complaining that their spouse does not like sex. Clearly it's a self-selected group that does not represent women as a whole, not in a long shot.

Women - what's your sex drive like?


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post #107 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 08:07 PM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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How many of those women who love sex, love it frequently, or love it with their current partner? It's one thing to love sex, but another to actually have it.
Meeeeeeeeeeee!!
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post #108 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 08:14 PM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

I voted I love sex!!!!
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post #109 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 04:54 PM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Originally Posted by introvert View Post
I am thrilled, absolutely THRILLED to see the results of this poll.

I am an extremely high drive female who is so happy to see that so many of my sisters are the same way. Society, forums, etc., would have us all believing that men are high drive and women are not.

If I could (gf and I are in an ldr), I would be having sex with my girlfriend multiple times a day, every day. We really click with similarly high drives and attitudes towards kink.

I thought I was sort of freaky for a while, but now I know that I'm in good company!
I have always had friends, sisters etc that talk about sex and love it. Finding a quality partner is the more difficult part of the equation.

I always knew women love sex, what I didn't know when I got married the first time is that some men are not healthy sexual beings.
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post #110 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 08:47 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

LOVE sex, but just not with my husband!
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post #111 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 08:56 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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These polls are fun and interesting, but people need to keep in mind that the selection effects here are very large. Most people are on TAM because of some issue in their marriages, and frequently that issue involves their sex life.
For all of the women who voted that they love sex, I would be curious to know "why" each of them is here.

A few of them undoubtedly originally came here with a sex issue, but I think most of them ended up here for some other reason.

I think the high numbers of women saying they love sex is a selective sample at TAM, but I don't believe it is that far off from the normal population.

I don't read trash mags like Cosmo, but why the hell would every single cover spout headlines about how to have the best orgasms and how to give the best blow jobs if "most" women (who read that mag) didn't love sex?

Even Oprah's magazine has plenty of sex and sex related articles. Who do you think is reading those if not for women like us here who love sex?

The biggest "secret" is not that women love sex, it is that there are more men with low sex drives than most people would assume or imagine. Those men will not be openly discussing their lack of a sex drive, which means that the assumption that "all men want sex" appears to be true since the low drive ones will not step forward.

But in this day and age, the high drive women ARE stepping forward and to some of you that seems like it is a skewed percentage, that's mostly just because you had already assumed less women love sex than men do.

Think of it in the natural world....why would one gender of any animal "like sex" more than the other gender? Nature doesn't design us that way, she made it so that both genders would naturally be drawn toward the opposite gender and would want to procreate. In humans, we also want to recreate and bond through sex. There is absolutely no biological reason to assume that men or women want or like sex "more" than the other.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #112 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 10:26 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

There is unfortunately still a lot of social pressure out there. Men can't admit that they don't like sex for fear of being labeled as "gay". Women are reluctant to admit how much they like sex for fear of being labeled as [women who want too much sex]. (sorry, rules don't let me use the word).

Since its assumed that all men want sex, women who's partners feel that they don't worry that it is *their* fault, that they are unattractive.

Men who's partners don't want sex are told to "man up", or "be more alpha". etc.


Its hard to know the numbers but its clear that there is a huge range in how much people of both genders want sex and what sort of sex that they want. This is all fine as long as the compatibility is OK. Unfortunately since people don't talk a lot about varying sexual desires, people don't know to be alert for this early on in dating. Instead they either put up with too little sex, or pretend to enjoy it more than they really do in order to make the relationship work.




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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
For all of the women who voted that they love sex, I would be curious to know "why" each of them is here.

A few of them undoubtedly originally came here with a sex issue, but I think most of them ended up here for some other reason.

I think the high numbers of women saying they love sex is a selective sample at TAM, but I don't believe it is that far off from the normal population.

I don't read trash mags like Cosmo, but why the hell would every single cover spout headlines about how to have the best orgasms and how to give the best blow jobs if "most" women (who read that mag) didn't love sex?

Even Oprah's magazine has plenty of sex and sex related articles. Who do you think is reading those if not for women like us here who love sex?

The biggest "secret" is not that women love sex, it is that there are more men with low sex drives than most people would assume or imagine. Those men will not be openly discussing their lack of a sex drive, which means that the assumption that "all men want sex" appears to be true since the low drive ones will not step forward.

But in this day and age, the high drive women ARE stepping forward and to some of you that seems like it is a skewed percentage, that's mostly just because you had already assumed less women love sex than men do.

Think of it in the natural world....why would one gender of any animal "like sex" more than the other gender? Nature doesn't design us that way, she made it so that both genders would naturally be drawn toward the opposite gender and would want to procreate. In humans, we also want to recreate and bond through sex. There is absolutely no biological reason to assume that men or women want or like sex "more" than the other.
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post #113 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 10:30 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
Its hard to know the numbers but its clear that there is a huge range in how much people of both genders want sex and what sort of sex that they want. This is all fine as long as the compatibility is OK. Unfortunately since people don't talk a lot about varying sexual desires, people don't know to be alert for this early on in dating. Instead they either put up with too little sex, or pretend to enjoy it more than they really do in order to make the relationship work.
This really just points to lack of relationship skills, not to which gender may like or want sex more than the other.

Most people want sex and like it. This comes naturally. At the same time, most people do not naturally know how to have a great relationship or know what signs to look for that it is not the right relationship.

The two things are not directly related usually (aptitude for relationship skills versus desire for sex).

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #114 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 07:03 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Yeah, I'm starting to feel that way myself.

Doesn't mean you don't love the person. Just that sex is turning into a chore that you don't get much out of.


Sex and love ARE different.
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How did that happen?


How did sex turn into a chore; with little return?

Well, decades long PE was something that always had to be worked around, and was very frustrating for moi to work around. But I did. And I say "I" advisedly. I did most of the working around and compromising in order to get an orgasm with my husband. And, when you're young and horny and still very much infatuated; you do that. It's a selfish thing, to a point. " He's beautiful...I just WANT him".

The last several years have added the dimension of my husband's significant weight gain, low testosterone; which has been further complicated by blood pressure meds and anti-depressants. If you don't know of the side effects of those meds on sex drive and erections---have a fun coupla hours on Google learning something new

SO.... the timing is always off, I feel like a nuisance asking, the physicality is becoming workably impossible. So on and so forth.

And you being to wonder if it's really worth the effort. And supposedly, if you starve your sex drive, it gets weaker and weaker....and sometimes it seems like the best option.

Not the most desired option, not the happiest option.

Are you also asking how I got to the conclusion that sex and love are not the same?

Because even though sex has mostly gone out the window; I still love my husband. And I would rather go without sex, than go without him. You're either gonna "get" that, or you aren't. It can't be explained.
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post #115 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 07:19 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
This really just points to lack of relationship skills, not to which gender may like or want sex more than the other.

Most people want sex and like it. This comes naturally. At the same time, most people do not naturally know how to have a great relationship or know what signs to look for that it is not the right relationship.

The two things are not directly related usually (aptitude for relationship skills versus desire for sex).
Preach on sister!

I couldn't agree more with this post!

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post #116 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 07:23 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Originally Posted by notmyrealname4 View Post
How did sex turn into a chore; with little return?

Well, decades long PE was something that always had to be worked around, and was very frustrating for moi to work around. But I did. And I say "I" advisedly. I did most of the working around and compromising in order to get an orgasm with my husband. And, when you're young and horny and still very much infatuated; you do that. It's a selfish thing, to a point. " He's beautiful...I just WANT him".

The last several years have added the dimension of my husband's significant weight gain, low testosterone; which has been further complicated by blood pressure meds and anti-depressants. If you don't know of the side effects of those meds on sex drive and erections---have a fun coupla hours on Google learning something new

SO.... the timing is always off, I feel like a nuisance asking, the physicality is becoming workably impossible. So on and so forth.

And you being to wonder if it's really worth the effort. And supposedly, if you starve your sex drive, it gets weaker and weaker....and sometimes it seems like the best option.

Not the most desired option, not the happiest option.

Are you also asking how I got to the conclusion that sex and love are not the same?

Because even though sex has mostly gone out the window; I still love my husband. And I would rather go without sex, than go without him. You're either gonna "get" that, or you aren't. It can't be explained.
Thank you for illustrating your situation.

I fully understand the difference between sex and love. I'm a former man ho. LOL!

You have my sympathies about your situation. Your husband is probably not motivated to improve his health and lose some weight?

What is PE if you don't mind educating me?
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post #117 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 07:31 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Thank you for illustrating your situation.

I fully understand the difference between sex and love. I'm a former man ho. LOL!

You have my sympathies about your situation. Your husband is probably not motivated to improve his health and lose some weight?

What is PE if you don't mind educating me?

PE is premature ejaculation; and it is of the devil.

No, he is not motivated to improve his health and lose weight.
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post #118 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 07:38 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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PE is premature ejaculation; and it is of the devil.

No, he is not motivated to improve his health and lose weight.
This just drives me bonkers!

There is so much he can do to improve his health, from T levels to weight loss thereby controlling blood pressure.

The premature ejaculation is absolutely a solvable problem as well.

He is fortunate to have your love.

I'm not trying to be rude or insulting but I'm genuinely curious.

Have you ever been tempted to stray? I have quite a few stories about this issue. Almost worth starting a thread over but people might be shy to talk about it here.
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post #119 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 08:06 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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This just drives me bonkers!

There is so much he can do to improve his health, from T levels to weight loss thereby controlling blood pressure.

The premature ejaculation is absolutely a solvable problem as well.

He is fortunate to have your love.

I'm not trying to be rude or insulting but I'm genuinely curious.

Have you ever been tempted to stray? I have quite a few stories about this issue. Almost worth starting a thread over but people might be shy to talk about it here.


Yes, I know all of that.

My husband does too. He won't do anything that bores him (exercise); and he won't eat low calorie diets, or anything like that. He doesn't really eat much. His metabolism must be sunk at this point.

I believe in weight loss and muscle building to increase T naturally. I wouldn't want my H to take medical testosterone.

If he wanted to, it's his body. But there is no way on the earth, that he is going to a doctor and saying, "I have almost no sex drive, I fall asleep all the time, I wake up tired; should I go on testosterone?" It's admitting to the sex part that would bother him. He will not admit to having issues to some stranger; even if that stranger is a doctor.

His low levels were discovered "accidentally" when he got blood work done about two years ago. The doctor offered no solutions, or even talked about it with him. They left a message on his voicemail, telling him he had high cholesterol and low testosterone.

I'm not sure that PE is solvable.

He is fortunate to have my sexual fidelity; I suppose. But I couldn't get turned on cheating. And I'd never divorce him because he's lost his sex drive. Stuff happens.

I always think he could have done better than me anyway. But that is a long story. Basically, I've been very happy to be with him. And especially at the beginning, I was blown away that he asked me out.

I sometimes need to have sex so bad that I feel pangs all over my body, and I get teary-eyed. Sex together is getting increasingly non-productive. The best answer I can come up with is to let it go. All things must pass.

I love my husband, warts and all. There isn't too much of sacrifice in it really. I get a lot from my marriage, on non-sexual levels.

One weird "good" thing about it, is that it keeps things real. It is a reminder that we are getting older and that we are going to die one day. So, enjoy every bit of life that you can. Live in the now and savor every positive thing, "time's a wastin' "
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post #120 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 08:16 AM
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Re: women ... do you like/love sex or dislike/hate sex?

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Yes, I know all of that.

My husband does too. He won't do anything that bores him (exercise); and he won't eat low calorie diets, or anything like that. He doesn't really eat much. His metabolism must be sunk at this point.

I believe in weight loss and muscle building to increase T naturally. I wouldn't want my H to take medical testosterone.

If he wanted to, it's his body. But there is no way on the earth, that he is going to a doctor and saying, "I have almost no sex drive, I fall asleep all the time, I wake up tired; should I go on testosterone?" It's admitting to the sex part that would bother him. He will not admit to having issues to some stranger; even if that stranger is a doctor.

His low levels were discovered "accidentally" when he got blood work done about two years ago. The doctor offered no solutions, or even talked about it with him. They left a message on his voicemail, telling him he had high cholesterol and low testosterone.

I'm not sure that PE is solvable.

He is fortunate to have my sexual fidelity; I suppose. But I couldn't get turned on cheating. And I'd never divorce him because he's lost his sex drive. Stuff happens.

I always think he could have done better than me anyway. But that is a long story. Basically, I've been very happy to be with him. And especially at the beginning, I was blown away that he asked me out.

I sometimes need to have sex so bad that I feel pangs all over my body, and I get teary-eyed. Sex together is getting increasingly non-productive. The best answer I can come up with is to let it go. All things must pass.

I love my husband, warts and all. There isn't too much of sacrifice in it really. I get a lot from my marriage, on non-sexual levels.

One weird "good" thing about it, is that it keeps things real. It is a reminder that we are getting older and that we are going to die one day. So, enjoy every bit of life that you can. Live in the now and savor every positive thing, "time's a wastin' "
PE is very solvable.

Despite your situation I love your attitude!

I'm generally a positive outlook guy and take things in stride because life does throw you curves once in a while.

I'm also a thick headed barbarian who won't hesitate to tackle a problem.

I would not be as accepting as you but, as I suspected, you get a lot out of your marriage.

Thanks for sharing your perspective!
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