Would really love some sound, unbiased advice

endoftheroad · 08-09-2012, 07:42 PM

Have real life going on, and haven't got to ask her today yet. Once I am done with my oldests practice and get her home and get a second, it will be the first thing I ask is where's the NC letter. Hopefully I won't be disappointed
No, didn't get that book yet. I plan on buying it tom night hopefully. Right now I'm reading the best one available to me that isn't an shook. It's called "after the affair"
So far I am only about 100 pages in, but it seems to be pretty spot on. I have every intention of reading the others recommended. Just need the time to myself to go get them.
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endoftheroad · 08-10-2012, 09:53 AM

Well, she claims being slammed at work as to her reason she hasn't written the NC letter yet. I tried to give her time last night but she claimed to be too tired and said she will do it today. It sucks, but if she can't accomplish this for me, then I'm pretty sure I can see how everything else is gonna go.
Guess I better prepare myself to let her know that I can't do this if she can't do her part. Hopefully this isn't going to be the straw that breaks my back.
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Almostrecovered · 08-10-2012, 09:54 AM

bad sign and I'd be concerned she is indeed in contact with him

endoftheroad · 08-10-2012, 10:32 AM

I am.
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Almostrecovered · 08-10-2012, 10:42 AM

what spying are you doing to verify her actions?

endoftheroad · 08-10-2012, 11:29 AM

Checking email. Checking phone and txt records. Var.
I feel like I can't do enough. And while she may NOT be contacting the OM, she has not worked very hard to do what o told her she needed to do to prove it.
If this isn't done by the time she goes to be tonight I'm not sure how I'm going to handle tomorrow. I guess ill start by telling her she had her chance and couldn't even bring herself to do the simple things I've asked.
I don't give a **** about her excuses, and reasons why she hasn't done it yet. She can't get that through her had. I love her and all, but I really don't give two ****s and a **** about how she feels about this situation. I guess its going to come down to me in the end..
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endoftheroad · 08-10-2012, 11:43 AM

Don't think I'm even going to approach her about it. If she can't see the importance this holds then its a pretty good sign of how everything else is going to go. She knows I am upset. Last night and this morning. She knows its angered me. If I have to ask again....I won't. She's either gonna do it, or not. I'm so done playing games right now. And since I feel like the last year, at least, has been nothing but a game in which I never got the chance to play, I don't want to play this one.
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Almostrecovered · 08-10-2012, 11:45 AM

honestly if she going to test your resolve right off the bat then you should just show her you mean business (file) instead of threatening her

endoftheroad · 08-10-2012, 12:02 PM

If the letter, along with an apology for it taking her so long, are not given to me today, then I will most likely be finding me a new home starting Monday. And the opportunities and nice guy will be gone before I wake up in the morning. I won't make her leave. Better for the kids if they stay with mom. And hopefully someday they will understand why I left, and learn from it. I'm sure they'll live. It just sucks knowing what it will put them through. But I'm done being taken advantage of because of MY feelings and family beliefs.
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Almostrecovered · 08-10-2012, 12:03 PM

I hope you consult your lawyer about leaving the house, the way you handle the separating can effect custody

turnera · 08-10-2012, 12:57 PM

Please don't move out before talking to your lawyer. I have seen WAY TOO MANY men get screwed financially and in terms of time with the kids, JUST because they moved out.

Why don't you stop at Lowes and pick up some moving boxes on your way home today? Just for grins.

endoftheroad · 08-10-2012, 01:25 PM

You know, if I don't get what I said I needed before the days out, I think I will go do just that.
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sandc · 08-10-2012, 01:34 PM

If she doesn't write the NC letter. Say nothing more to her. File for divorce and start doing the 180.

anchorwatch · 08-10-2012, 01:50 PM

She doesn't know what she wants, she checked out so long, she can't decide. She is waffling. You know what it has to be, him or you. You steer this ship, she can't. Make the decision for her, in or out.

Don't let anger rule you, stay calm, but strong and resolved to have the NC letter or move on.

Just a note, The both of you keep using 'real life' as a reason for delays to work on this marriage. Where are you both going to find 15 hours a week, couple time, to breath life back into this marriage?

donders · 08-10-2012, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by endoftheroad

If the letter, along with an apology for it taking her so long, are not given to me today, then I will most likely be finding me a new home starting Monday.

Don't move out of your home.